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Natural Erection Aids
Dear Dinah,

My erections don't last. Is there any natural food that could boost my erection.

Dinah answers: Unfortunately, there is nothing natural that is nearly as effective as medications such as Viagra, Cialis, etc. But there is definitely a more subtle effect from having a healthy diet, with low cholesterol, such as a vegetarian diet. Erectile problems are often a sign of clogged arteries and lame blood flow. So start embracing that tofu!

One plant-based treatment is Yohimbine. You can also read about other treatments for erection problems

Creams to Loosen up for Him
Dear Dinah,

My boyfriend’s penis is too large and causes me pain, he has too much girth. Is there a product that can help with painful intercourse as a result of too much? Along the lines of cream that i can apply maybe, something to make my vagina relax.

Dinah answers: This is a complaint that is not uncommon, and it is not all your responsibility to adapt to, because there are two people involved. In is important never to use force when it becomes uncomfortable so that you do not develop a tendency to tighten up uncontrollably (such as vaginismus).

You shouldn’t use any type of cream. Nothing can loosen the muscles except proper usage over time. Remember that your vagina is a muscle (capable of childbirth) and it is able to stretch when it is done comfortably and slowly. Any cream that anesthetizes your vagina means that you won’t feel pain, but you won’t feel pleasure, nor will you be aware of how much damage you are doing to your vaginal cavity, from which the pain is actually protecting you.

You can ease the entry by using lots of lubrication. Even if you are sufficiently lubricating naturally, have extra lube on hand so that you can maintain a very slippery feel for as long as you need.

In addition, you need to consider which positions are more comfortable for you and try various positions where you have greater control, such as you being on top. You can also use other areas for friction, like your thighs, instead of your vagina.

Sex with My Boyfriend Doing Ecstasy
Dear Dinah,

My boyfriend and I have been having unprotected sex and he has also been doing "E". I was wondering can i fail a drug test because i have unprotected sex with him? Because i read somewhere that he can transmit whats in his system to my system though sperm.

Dinah answers: There is no evidence that Ecstasy can enter a man’s semen in sufficient quantities to be transferred by sex, but there are some other tests that you can “fail” as a result, such as HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea... There is a very long list of bacteria and viruses (sexually transmitted infections) which know how to cross over from his semen into your vaginal tissue and your blood stream, but E has not been documented as a substance that knows how to do this.

The reason why people warn against drug-use and sex is that drugs like ecstasy give you a sense of trust and remove all the natural instincts to protect yourself. Users tend to have unsafe sex (as you did), which means you aren’t necessarily protected either physically from STDs or pregnancy, nor emotionally from not having the ability to freely consent to the sex as a whole, or to any particular act.

Ongoing use of E will also deteriorate normal sexual arousal mechanisms. Read more on the effects of Ecstasy on sex

Using Deer Velvet
Dear Dinah, 

I have low-blood pressure, minor anemia and sleep problems. My energy level is not very good and I’m easily tired. Why do I still have much more desire for sex than my husband? I find deer velvet can improve my sexual performance in bed a lot. Why does deer velvet work for me? 

Dinah answers: Deer velvet (or deer antler velvet) is used as an aphrodisiac by Chinese herbalists and in recent years has become more easily available through natural food stores. 

The jury is still out on if this product really works and if so, how it works, because research on deer velvet is scarce and mixed. With a lot of natural aphrodisiacs, the placebo effect is very powerful, in other words the knowledge that by taking something to get you in the mood, you might be inclined to get in the mood, irrespective of whether there is any chemical action. 

Note that an aphrodisiac works on your sexual desire and not on your performance. It would seem that when you take this supplement, you feel greater legitimacy to be sexual or freedom to let go, and it is this extra involvement that increases your sexual pleasure. 

The bottom line here, is that it works for you. As long as it does no harm, which it shouldn’t, why not use it? 

As to why your libido is higher than your husbands, there is no way I can know. If this has always been the case, then your respective libidos are just naturally different. It happens. On the other hand, if his libido has changed drastically, it may be a sign that he is not as healthy as he used to be or he is no longer emotionally engaged. Both conditions can and should be worked on. 

It could just be a function of age: his libido will be dropping as the years go past (read about Male Menopause), whereas you, even with the lethargy and tiredness, seem to have an active interest in sex. 
Fortunately, you also have lots of options for sexual fulfillment that don’t necessitate a partner. 

Aging relationships can be complicated by health, habit, conflict or excessive comfort. You may want to read Putting the Bam Back... 

Herbal Viagra

Dear Dinah, 

Does Chinese herbal Viagra work? I have had problems getting and staying hard but I don`t want to put unhealthy chemicals in my body. 

Dinah answers: There are lots of different products on the market. Some are about as good as sugar pills, and others have ingredients that really work. The trick is to figure out what`s in the pills/drinks/concoctions before you take them. If you have any existing health conditions, advise with your doctor before trying them, because some "herbal" medications have chemical substances that are the same used in pharmaceuticals. 

Some substances used in herbal remedies have been used for centuries in Asia and Africa and are known to work on some people, in some situations. These include Deer Velvet (China), Yohimbe Bark (West Africa) and Kava Kava (Polynesia). 

Other ingredients are found in small quantities in our diet such as L-Arginine, an amino acid, which allows the remedy to stay in the genre of "alternative medication" even though overdosing on such natural ingredients can in some cases be as dangerous as dosing up on synthetic drugs.

Viagra for Women
Dear Dinah, 

I have heard of women taking Viagra. How does it work for women? What are the effects? I had two acquaintances who both took it - and they both went on and on for hours - until they were really exhausted. 

Dinah answers: Viagra actually works on women by the same mechanism that it does on men – it increases the blood flow to the genital area, and entraps it there by constricting the blood vessels that would otherwise allow the blood to flow out and put an early end to the body`s aroused state. 

The reason that Viagra has not been approved for women, although it seems to work in so many cases, is the incredible complexity of testing it on women. Although the physical mechanism appears to work, the many, many additional circumstances that affect a woman`s desire, arousal and orgasm, such as hormonal influences, emotional and mental factors, which is more easily controlled for men, make testing a clinical nightmare. 

Increased blood flow to the genitals means that the whole vulva area, including the clitoris, will fill up with blood, lubricating in an unprecedented way, and become very sensitive and primed for sexual response. If the right stimulation is received and the mood is set, she`ll be ready to take off, multiply. The ongoing effect, 4 hours for Viagra and longer for other drugs, means that even after orgasm, the vulva remains engorged. This insures ongoing wetness, which can translate to the body`s eagerness for more stimulation. 

Since men and women alike sometimes manage to get their hands on Viagra, Ciallis, Levitra or other versions of these sex drugs, without prescriptions, they should make sure that they do not have heart conditions before trying it out. Otherwise the relatively innocent experiment could land up with costly effects.

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