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Ask dinah  Safer Sex: Contraception & Pregnancy |
| advice from our experts |
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| Depo Provera Worries |
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Dear Dinah,
I have been on depo provera since 2008. I recently started dating a new partner in Jan and in July 2010 we had unprotected sex (first and only time). It has been one week since that encounter but I am now experiencing cramps like a period (and I hadn't had a menstrual cycle since I started depo) and a brown slimy discharge with no smell. Could I be pregnant and is it ok to have sex?
Dinah answers: You should go get a check up about the cramps and discharge. It may be nothing, but since it is something you haven't had since starting to take depo, its worth seeing to.
There is no problem to continue having sex. Actually, it can help with the cramps, especially if it brings you to orgasm! Of course, make sure to make it protected sex every time, until you know whats going on.
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| Fun with Underwear |
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Dear Dinah,
If you were touching your boyfriend over this boxerbriefs, in essense like groping him and there were two very small wet spots on them from his precum, then with the same hand you rubbed yourself over your panties to make yourself cum, no insertion of the fingers, just rubbing over the panties. I've been wondering, curious, and concerned. Thank you.
Dinah answers: You shouldn't be concerned; as long as you both keep your underwear on, you are usually safe. Small amounts of liquid cannot pass through two layers of material and remain active.
In future, if there is a full ejaculation you should mind not to let any wetness come in contact with your genital area. Otherwise, messing around with your underwear on is a fun and safe way to enjoy sexual play.
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| Transfer During Condom Swap |
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Dear Dinah,
me and my girlfriend had sex yesterday, and about five minutes after we finished we went for a second round. I did not wash my hands after I took the first condom off and before I put a second one on. Is it possible for her to get pregnant?
Dinah answers: If you removed and replaced the condoms properly, there is no reason to worry. The risk lies in touching the semen and then touching the outside of the new condom. Although it is theoretically possible to transfer live semen this way, the chances of it happening are tiny because semen dries in minutes, and even less if it is not left in big pools or if it is warm in the room.
Well done for behaving responsibility. Just keep in mind next time that if you have any doubt about having touched semen or pre-cum, wash your hands and dry them well.
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| Hey, Where's the Condom? |
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Dear Dinah,
My boyfriend and I were preparing to have sex last night. I got on all fours and he entered me. I didn't realize that he did not have a condom on. About a minute later, the phone rang so he exited me and I answered the phone. When I got on all fours again to continue I happened to glance over my shoulder and see that he was unprotected, so I told him to put a condom on and we proceeded to have sex a number of times that night using a clean condom after each episode. However, still panicked from the unprotected instance, I took Plan B four hours after that instance. My period ended nine days ago. Will I become pregnant? I am terrified.
Dinah answers: You acted very responsibly after discovering that your boyfriend had been so irresponsible. By the way, I hope that you will talk to him about this, so that you know that you can trust him without having to check up.
Taking Plan B, and doing it so efficiently (it is most effective in the 12 hours after the act), offers you the best protection under the circumstances. Considering that he did not actually ejaculate inside you and that you then used Emergency Contraception, the risk is reduced to negligible.
You may find that your period is a bit delayed due to stress, so try to comfort yourself and relax. You have managed this situation optimally!
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| Proper Pill Taking and Risk of Pregnancy |
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Dear Dinah,
If I am on Birth Control, and generally take it on time (sometimes an hour or two off) and I have unprotected sex with a guy a few times in a day, if he cums inside me and I don't even attempt to get it out, what are the chances of getting pregnant?
Dinah answers: Taking the pill within an hour or two of the same hour each day is considered excellent contraceptive coverage. When taken perfectly the pill is 99.7% effective so you can feel secure, this means only 3 women out of 1,000 who use the pill for a full year will get pregnant anyway.
If your guy ejaculates inside you, there is no use in trying to wash it out, you cannot reduce the chances of pregnancy this way, all you can do is increase the chances of infection in the area, so please, don't bother.
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| No Protection for Virgins |
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Dear Dinah,
I am a virgin (so is my boyfriend) we try not to be too sexual with each other but one night we found our pants off, rubbin' uglies, but he was never inside me. After enjoying myself, i realized that i felt pre-cum or just straight out semen on me... how would i know, i've never had sex, never got near that point! so we were rubbing and there was liquids shared. I ran away and tried to clean myself off but i just used water, not knowing that sperm needs to just be wet to live... my real question is: If i have never had sex before is it possible to get pregnant? Does sex have to happen to tare open the vagina more for semen to go in fertilize or not?
Dinah answers: Yes, yes, yes! I have personally met a young couple who got pregnant in this situation. It is rare but definitely possible. The vagina does not have to be torn open by sex, it is naturally open and all that semen needs to enter is a trail of vaginal fluid (cervical mucus) which is produced when you get excited.
By the way, washing yourself is not necessarily helping the semen by keeping it wet. Nor is it hurting the process. The semen that find their way in can manage without your help, nature takes care of the process. Washing yourself after sex, especially if you wash internally, can just cause scratches inside, which increase your chances of catching an STD, if you are exposed.
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| Condom Tricks |
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Dear Dinah,
I had sex with my boyfriend. I may have been close to ovulation at the time because my CM was very creamy, and 2 days after intercourse, my CM was clear and like raw egg white. He wore one of those spermicide condoms. the thing is, before he had put on the condom, he had already inserted himself about 3 times, then he pulled out, removed the condom and ejaculated away from my vaginal opening. once he was done ejaculating, he inserted his condomless penis into me for one last thrust before he lost his stiffness. Would the spermicide from the condom be enough to coat the vaginal wall and protect against any sperm-tainted pre-cum or any remnants left on his tip after ejaculation?
Dinah answers: No! You seem to know so much about fertility and yet you don't understand the basics.
There is a reason that people are instructed to use condoms from start to finish. You don't get credit for using a condom most of the time. I would even say that inserting a penis after ejaculation is as effective as not having used a condom at all.
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| Anal Pregnancy Worries |
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Dear Dinah,
I want to consult you after I had anal sex with my girl friend, I pulled out before ejaculation, and during the process I always make sure that I doing anal instead of vaginal. After that I was fingering her, then again anal sex. What I am worrying is, is it possible that she can get pregnant, even if I pulled out before ejaculation, and there might be small amount fluid (pre-cum) around her anal area during 1st and 2nd times of anal sex?
Dinah answers: Theoretically anal sex is safe to prevent pregnancy (but not STDs). However, as you are aware, the anal opening and the vaginal area are very close and any liquid that spills during sex, either semen or pre-cum, can land up traveling, especially if she is aroused and has a lot of lubrication from her vagina.
The safest way to have anal sex, to avoid both pregnancy and STDs, and also to keep things cleaner, especially if you want to ejaculate inside, is to use a condom. It is important to have lots of lubrication at the start of the penetration and may be also to add in the middle if you find it dries up. Unlike the vagina, which produces lubrication when a woman gets aroused, the anus does not become wet on its own, so you need help to improve the feeling and to prevent the condom from tearing.
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| Oral Sperm Stolen |
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Dear Dinah,
i had oral sex with a girl, and she is now pregnant and claiming it is mine. i did not ejaculate in her. Her best friend told me she inserted it in herself afterwards is that possible she could have got pregnant that way.
i dont know if I should tell my girlfriend or not so please help me. i need to know if it could be mine.
Dinah answers: There is no use in getting into the theoretical possibilities of transferring semen like this. It is enough to say that under all the right conditions it might work, if she moved fast and was very fertile, but this is too important a matter to do guesswork.
You need to speak to her directly and try to understand if she has any claims and if you are the only person that this could possibly be. If she does believe that it is yours and if you are interested in pursuing this, you should take a paternity test. It can be done before the birth, if she does one of two tests (amniocentesis or CVS) which test the amniotic fluid. If she is young and doesn't plan on doing these tests, which test for down syndrome, or she has missed the opportunity, you can have the test done at the time of birth when the placenta can be sampled and sent for testing. Of course you can always take a blood sample from the baby at any later point too.
Since this is a long-term business, you may want to be honest with your girlfriend and let her know how you feel about it and what you plan to do about it. I wouldn't recommend sneaking behind her back, since so many people already seem to be involved. You'll want the support of a close partner during this process.
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| Sperm on Fabric |
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Dear Dinah,
I am wondering if it's possible for sperm to survive on fabric once it's absorbed. If I accidentally touch or brush on the damp area of the fabric, which absorbed semen about half an hour ago, and proceed to touch the vagina area or insert my finger inside, would I be at risk of getting pregnant? I didn't notice any semen or feel any wetness on my finger after the touching the clothe though.
Dinah answers: There is no chance that sperm can survive after the semen is absorbed by fabric, especially after time has passed. You can be assured that this time you are safe, but be careful in future because if a pool of semen forms in an area that for some reason doesn't absorb the liquid, then the sperm could possibly be sustained for as long as the wetness remains.
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| End of Cycle Pregnancy Danger |
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Dear Dinah,
i had sex three times in the same night then three hours later i came on my period. how likely is it for me to get pregnant??
Dinah answers: It is impossible to get pregnant on the day you get your period. By the way, on non fertile days you can have sex as many times as you can manage, and there is no threat, while on fertile days once is enough.
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| Condom Safety |
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Dear Dinah,
Is it 100% sure that using condoms can prevent pregnancy? thanks!
Dinah answers: No, condoms are not completely safe for protection against unplanned pregnancy. If they are used perfectly they are 98% safe, meaning that 2% of women who use them for a full year will get pregnant sometime during the year. Unfortunately a lot of condom users don't use them faultlessly. Research shows that typical condom use is only 85% safe. This is still pretty safe for each single time that it is used, but you can take the odds up considerably by practicing before using, using the right lubricant if necessary, learning to roll it on while squeezing the air from the nipple and removing it quickly and carefully.
Please check out the contraceptive efficiency chart to get a better picture of condom and other contraceptive safety.
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| Semen Traveling from Face |
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Dear Dinah,
Me and my boyfriend were fooling around. First he went down on me and then I gave him a blow job. My mouth was the only thing that actually touched his penis, but after he came in my mouth and I swallowed I noticed a bit of my saliva around my mouth and chin area. I went straight to the bathroom and washed my hands and lower part of my face. About 45 min later I also brushed my teeth and rinsed with mouth wash. What is the odds of sperm surviving anywhere on me or in my mouth and causing me to become pregnant ?
Dinah answers: You cannot get pregnant from semen that are swallowed or semen that land anywhere on your body except around your vagina. If semen is left to dry on your face, leg, stomach or anywhere else, it loses its ability to work as soon as it dries up or is washed with soap.
Just keep in mind that just because you are safe from pregnancy, does not mean that you cannot be infected with an STI. Sexually transmitted infections can be spread during oral, vaginal and anal sex.
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| The Morning After and the Morning After That |
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Dear Dinah,
Me and my girlfriend had sex and I ejaculated in her. So the next morning she took the day after pill (next choice). The next day I ejaculated in her again. Is there a chance she can get pregnant or can the day after pill have an effect on it?
Dinah answers: Plan B contraception, or the Morning After Pill, cannot be considered effective for the second day. It doesn't provide a full dose of medication to prevent a potentially fertilized egg from developing into a fetus.
Although your question implies that you are aware of the risk of what you have taken, I am not sure that you are really thinking through the consequences of your choices. Taking Plan B is not something you can mess around with. It puts high doses of hormones into your partner's bloodstream, much higher than she would have if she were on the pill. It results in side effects to her body, on her reproductive process and on the environment. A hormonal overdose (which is what the Plan B is essentially) is acceptable when a real mistake has been made or when there has been an unfortunate incident. We're all human and people make mistakes; but repeating this one day later is irresponsible, inconsiderate and unreliable.
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| Fertility After Depo Provera |
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Dear Dinah,
when you've been on depo provera for a long time (for many years) does this stop you from gettin pregnant sooner or does it have an effect on your hormones, so you can't get pregnant at all?
Dinah answers: When you stop getting your Depo Provera injections, your body should go back to being just as it was before, no more and no less fertile. It could take a few weeks after the Depo Provera wears off, in other words, after the 3 months of contraception from the injection, it could take a month or so for your periods to come back to normal. Of course, if your periods were not regular before, you shouldn't expect that they will be regular afterwards.
If you want to get pregnant, give yourself some time and you should be as fertile as ever. If you don't want to get pregnant, but want to change your method of birth control, don't count on the few weeks after the injection wears off: make sure you have another method available within 5 days, preferably condoms to start with.
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| Shower Flow |
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Dear Dinah,
My girlfriend and I were in the shower. She was on her period and had a tampon in. I did not ejaculate but i had a small amount of pre-ejaculate which got on her stomach. Is it possible that the shower water could wash it down near her vagina and impregnate her?
Dinah answers: I think it is safe to say that you are not in any danger here. First of all, being on her period would mean that your girlfriend is not on a fertile day of her cycle. Second, having a tampon would obstruct (at least partially) the flow of semen, not because it acts as a barrier, but because it is so absorbent. Finally, the water flow of the shower would be too much for the sperm that made it into the pre-ejaculate to overcome.
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| Swallowing Safety |
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Dear Dinah,
i was on the computer this morning masturbating, while my g/f was sleeping and when i finished there was a lot of semen i just decided to dispose of it in my mouth because there were no klenexs around. then a couple hours later my girlfriend wakes up and i ended up giving her a lot of head. Now im wondering if i have to go out and buy plan b, and how im going to explain to her that she should take it because shes going to think im weird swallowing my own cum
Dinah answers: Don't worry about Plan B, you are safe without it. I totally understand how you could feel weird explaining yourself to her. Things like this happen, and honestly, its less messy that wiping it somewhere and having to explain the strange stain. Seriously, there is nothing wrong with swallowing your own cum, just like it is fine to swallow you partner's, as long as you are sure there are no STDs that can be spread from one person to the other, or from the genitals to the throat (yes, it is possible with gonorrhea and others).
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| Butt Safety |
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Dear Dinah,
Can you get a girl pregnant when u stick ur penis in her butt hole?
Dinah answers: No, having anal sex is safe from a pregnancy point of view but is more dangerous than other forms of sex in terms of spreading STDs to either partner. For this reason a condom and lots of lubricant are recommended.
Having said that, there is a definite risk of pregnancy after anal penetration if you ejaculate and drip some semen around her vaginal area when you withdraw from her.
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| Ripped Condom on the Second Round |
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Dear Dinah,
Right, so me and my boyfriend had been messing around and we went upstairs, we had sex and he was wearing a condom. He did cum, but went to the bathroom and wiped it so it was dry.
We left my house and went for a random walk ending up at his house. Where we ended up having sex again. Wearing a new condom obviously. He pulled out and once putting it back in the condom ripped slightly. We noticed straight away, and he pulled out.
So my question is.... even though he wiped his penis dry does it mean i could still get pregnant from when the second condom ripped?
Dinah answers: In the scenario you described, is is practically impossible to get pregnant for a couple of reasons. If the semen on his penis dried, as they would certainly do after wiping and then taking a walk, they are no longer alive and able to impregnate. Then, once the condom tore, you pulled out immediately, further reducing any chances of allowing any semen or pre-cum from entering the vagina.
Keep up the consistent use of condoms. I should just mention that condoms do rip from time to time. The most common reason is because there is not enough lubrication. Consider moving to a more lubricated condom or keeping some of your own lubricant on hand.
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| Naked Play |
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Dear Dinah,
Ok, so my fiance and I were fooling around yesterday morning. Neither of us have ever had sex. We ended up both naked and rubbing the tip of his penis around near my vagina and vaginal opening. After I took a shower and washed the whole area really well. We were both still freaking out afterwards (we have never let it get the far before) so we went and got a plan B pill. I took the pill about 3 hours after this all happened. Am I good? What are the chances that I could get pregnant from this?
Dinah answers: The sexual play that you described might be risky, if it occurred around your fertile days and if he had drops of wetness on his penis from pre-ejaculation.
You were correct in taking Plan B and taking it so promptly. Plan B is more effective, the sooner it is taken. The washing, on the other hand, will do nothing except maybe cause chafing in the vaginal area which is not pleasant.
I would say that all probability points to you being safe, but there can never be promises in this area. Wait till the end of your cycle to make sure. There is nothing else to do that you haven't already done to protect yourself until such time.
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| Is Saliva Risky? |
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Dear Dinah,
i had oral sex with a prostitute. she put a condom on my penis. she also licked my testicles with her mouth. after i ejaculated she removed my condom but i did not wash either the penis or the testicles. i am worried will i get any std or sti from the saliva on my testicles if mixed with the sperms on my penis...
Dinah answers: It is very unlikely that you would be infected by her saliva, especially if she did not put her mouth directly around your penis, but there is an extremely small chance of contracting an STI such as gonorrhea, which can be carried in the throat as well as the genitals. The problem is not if anything touched the semen that had already been ejaculated, but rather if the saliva had direct contact with any part of your genitals that had a sore or cut, even a tiny one, through which viruses, bacteria or parasites can enter.
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| Laundry Fears |
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Dear Dinah,
I ejaculated on my pants and after it dried, I threw it on my laundry basket. A few days later, my sister washed it (without soap, only water) and wore it for the day. PLEASE TELL me the sperm died and that she is not pregnant.
Dinah answers: Sperm only stay alive while they are wet. They cannot stay active outside of the body for a few days, and they certainly can't survive a wash with detergent. You have nothing to worry about.
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| Periods, Pills and Pregnancy Risk |
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Dear Dinah,
i had sex with my boyfriend one day after my period and the first day i started the pill (yasmin). could i be pregnant ? any advice ?
Dinah answers: Usually you are instructed to begin taking the pill on the first day of your bleeding, not the first day after the bleeding ends. This would allow a few days where you are not fertile, due to it being the very beginning of your cycle. Then by the time you end your period, the hormones of the pill have kicked in.
What you seem to have done is have sex at a slightly more risky time, before the pills can give you proper protection. The only way to know how risky this really was is to calculate your risky days using the fertility table, which works it out based on the length of your cycle.
I know that this is not simple when you just begin taking the pill, because the pill often rearranges your period. If your period does not come when you expect it this first month, you don't necessarily need to panic, because it could be the effect of the pill. I would nevertheless recommend that you take a home pregnancy test if you are a couple of days late, and perhaps a week later if you haven't gotten your period after that, just to make sure.
In the meantime take the pill religiously at the same time each day (within a half hour or so), to give yourself the best protection possible.
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| Is Sex During Your Period Safe? |
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Dear Dinah,
Is it possible to still get pregnant while on your period after unprotected sex?
Dinah answers: If you have a regular cycle and it is longer than about 3.5 weeks, then the days of your bleeding are days that you cannot get pregnant. Some women, though, have very short cycles, meaning that they get their period every 2-3 weeks. For them, or for others with very irregular cycles, there is a chance they they can be fertile during some of the days of their period. The later days of bleeding, especially if your bleeding lasts many days, would be the days with the highest risk.
You need to do the maths. If you know when you are supposed to get your next period, count backwards 14 days and that is a good indication of your ovulation date. Then consider that 4-5 days before that, can put you at risk because the semen can survive in your body for that long (possibly a bit less if you are bleeding heavily).
You should also check this fertility chart to calculate your own patterns.
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| Turning the Condom Inside Out |
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Dear Dinah,
me and my girlfriend were having sex and we were using a condom. when i finished the first time i asked if she wanted to go again like 30 seconds after she said yeah!. i took the condom off and threw it away and i put another condom on right away i dont know if my penis was still wet on the head. but i put the condom on backwards so i took it off and turned it around and put it on so cum could of been on the outside now idk!! i wiped it with my shirt quickly and with in 15 seconds we were back at it again. she is not on birth control could she get pregnant?? please help!
Dinah answers: In a word, YES. Isn't it obvious?
If it is not to late, try emergency contraception. Otherwise wait it out to do a home pregnancy test. Next time, don't get economical when it comes to condom use.
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| Partial Condom Safety |
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Dear Dinah,
I've read all of the questions here and you have been asked the question over and over, but i need help. Here's the deal - im a overweight woman and i have irregular periods, my husband and i have sex almost every night, he penetrates me before putting a condom on. he takes it out way before he orgasms then he puts the condom on and we finish the act. Is there any possibility that i can get pregnant like this?? and my periods sometimes come every three months.
Dinah answers: Penetration without a condom for part of the act is risky because of the famous “pre-cum” that is mentioned here again and again. Pre-cum is released from the penis during stimulation and it sometimes contains semen that would then be delivered straight into the depths of the vagina. It is not relevant that he pulls out “way before he orgasms” because he cannot feel the pre-cum, and he has no warning that it is about to be released, as he does with ejaculation.
The fact that your periods are irregular suggests that becoming pregnant will be more difficult for you, but this is by no means protection. Further, being irregular can mean that you can become pregnant and not know it for a couple of months.
You should use another form of contraception or use the condoms properly until you are ready to conceive.
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| Conception in the Shower |
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Dear Dinah,
what is the chance of getting pregnant if I ejaculated on my girlfriend's chest while taking a shower and the semen dripped down due to the water flow?
Dinah answers: As long as your girlfriend didn't rub her vulva with semen, it would wash away with the shower water and possibly soap, and the semen would not be able to enter her vagina, and this is safe.
If you tend to ejaculate on her body and you are trying to avoid pregnancy and STD's, you need to be very careful that not even a drop falls near her vulva, where it can run, drip or be rubbed into any dangerous area. Anywhere on or around her vulva is dangerous because semen can travel when they come in contact with her cervical mucus, at least before she washes both of them away.
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| Counting the Days |
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Dear Dinah,
After an unprotected sex, how many days from the deed will you get an accurate result from a home pregnancy test? some said its after 10-14 days after the unprotected sex will u know if you're pregnant. is it true?
Dinah answers: Home pregnancy tests are accurate around the time that you expect your period, in other words about 14 days after ovulation. Some tests will be able to pick it up from the 13 or 14 days and other tests will only show an accurate result 17 or 18 days after ovulation.
Because many females don't know exactly when they ovulate, it is a good guide to wait 3-4 days after you were expecting your period and then to try, assuming that you are relatively regular.
Read more about Home Pregnancy Tests and fertility cycles.
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| Getting Pregnant During Your Period |
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Dear Dinah,
I was wondering if it is likely for me to get pregnant while on my period?
My cycle is long- about 38 days. My periods last about 5-6 days. We are planning on using a condom as well. so ive heard with a long cycle you cant get preg on your period- is that true? thanks dinah!!!
Dinah answers: As long as your cycle is constantly around 38 days, and your period lasts just a few days, there is no way that you can get pregnant during your period.
There are some women who can get pregnant during their period. These women have cycles of about 21 days or less and they bleed for enough days so that the last days of bleeding are about 14 days before their next period. In other words, ovulation happens when they are actively bleeding or just finishing their bleeding.
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| Accuracy of Home Pregnancy Tests |
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Dear Dinah,
Hi, im very confused.
i recently had sex for the first time. He used a condom. We are positive the condom didnt break. Now my period is already 2 weeks late. I took a pregnancy test today, it is negative. My cycle is usually pretty regular.
Is it possible the test was defective or something? i dont know why my period is late if im not pregnant. Thanks. im 18.
Dinah answers: The standard home pregnancy tests have good accuracy rates when used properly and not too early (read more about this ).
If you took the test at about 2 weeks late and your period is regular, you can be pretty sure that the results are dependable. Read about taking the test properly and then redo the test. The chances are that you have been stressed about this and it has messed with your cycle. If your period has not arrived in another week or so, you should make an appointment with your doctor or family planning clinic to get a check-up.
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| Is Dried Sperm Dangerous? |
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Dear Dinah,
Last night I was with my boyfriend and we were in the backseat of his car and i was giving him oral sex, he came and i got it on my hand. I think I wiped it off on my pant leg. Anyway, we didn't do anything else other than make-out but when I got home I was up for about 20 mins or more before I went to bed. I started to touch myself in bed and I was really wet. I can't remember if I washed my hands or not before doing this! I'm pretty sure my hands were dry though. I was wondering if dried sperm entered the vagina is there a possibility I could get pregnant? Or when it dries up do the sperm die? I'm very worried because i've never done anything like this before. Thank-you.
Dinah answers: Sperm stays active as long as it remains wet. When the semen fluid around it dries, the sperm will no longer be able to swim and impregnate . The amount of time necessary for the semen fluid to dry depends on a few factors. If it is warm and dry, it will dry up quicker. If there is a large pool of semen, it will take longer to dry than a smaller pool. Semen that gets into skin folds may stay alive longer, because it is not exposed to fresh air which will dry it out. In general, the sperm will be inactive after a few minutes, but if you are unsure, it is safest to wash the area that touched the semen with soap and water.
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| Hands On Danger |
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Dear Dinah,
me & my boyfriend were giving hand massage to each other, he used the same hand that he was using on himself to me. can i get pregnant by any ways
Dinah answers: The answer is a simple yes. If there was any ejaculate on his hand, and it was still wet when he touched you, he could quite easily put you at risk of becoming pregnant. You can look at the fertility chart to check your chances of fertility, if you know when you are supposed to get your period, and this can help give you a better idea of your chances.
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| Dangerous Fingers |
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Dear Dinah,
my boyfriend pre cummed a little bit and wiped it with his hand and then 1 to 2 minutes later he fingered me. am i pregnant?
Dinah answers: You could very well get pregnant doing what you did, but whether you are or are not depends on whether you were fertile, how fertile he is, and on a whole lot of luck. Sometimes when you do all the wrong (unsafe) things at the wrong (fertile) time, you get lucky, and other times a person can be careful, but the slightest lack of safety can allow them to get pregnant.
The issue is not to count on chance, because it will take all the enjoyment and freedom out of your sexual pleasure, which makes it not worth having. In fact, it makes you sorry you did it, and that is a very negative may to experience sexuality.
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| Douching for Birth Control |
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Dear Dinah,
My boyfriend just came in me last night, and tonight. I usually get my period around this time of the month, but i haven't gotten it yet. But after he cums inside me, i run to the bathroom quick to try and get it all out of my vagina. can i still get pregnant? what are my chances?
Dinah answers: Washing your vagina after sex (also called douching) is a very weak attempt at contraception. If it worked, we wouldn't have to use pills or condoms or other complicated birth control techniques. But it doesn't – in fact, it just increases the chances of contracting an STD, because it scours the fragile vaginal tissue and removes the protective bacteria.
As for actually getting pregnant, your chances depend on whether you were on a fertile or infertile day. It is difficult to tell if your period is out of sync, so unless you want to learn fertility awareness, you need to assume that you are at risk and avoid direct contact of bodily fluids.
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| Wiping with Wet Paper |
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Dear Dinah,
My boyfriend and I were messing around the 3rd of this month and he cummed outside (with his boxers) but was under my butt. I went to the bathroom right away, wet a toilet paper and accidentally wiped upwards. Can I still get pregnant from that?
Dinah answers: First of all, you cannot prevent semen from impregnating you by trying to wipe or wash it away after it has touched your genital area. It is not clear from your description exactly where the semen spread, but if it got near enough to your vulva to come in contact with your vaginal juices, then you are at risk.
Trying to wipe it up afterwards could decrease the exposure or it could help bring your fluids in contact with his. This is the kind of incident that it would be best to get emergency contraception for, and in future use condoms or keep the cum far from your body.
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| Indirect Impregnation – Part 34 |
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Dear Dinah,
My boyfriend and i were fooling around and i gave him a blowjob. He came and he cleaned it off with a tissue. I'm not sure if he got any on his hand but i think he wiped it up well. Then we made out for a couple minutes and then he fingered me. How likely is it that i can become pregnant?
Dinah answers: There are too many MAYBE's in your question to give you an answer. All I can tell you is that if there was a chance of semen on his hand, then there is some risk of pregnancy. You have to be more careful, and wash up properly between touching his genitals and then yours, otherwise there is SOME level of risk.
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| Handjob Safety – Part 2 |
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Dear Dinah,
Me and my girlfriend have been going out for about a year now and we are both virgins and we plan to keep it that way. However, we were fooling around today and she started giving me a handjob. I know i pre-ejaculated cause i saw it on my underwear before she started to give me a handjob. I'm not sure if she had gotten it on her hand or if i had or not. What is the possibility that she gets pregnant from precum that is transferred by hand to the outside of her vagina? I have seen a lot of contradictory information on the information about precum containing sperm or not and whether it was possible for a virgin to get pregnant by precum because of the unbroken hymen. Thanks in advance.
Dinah answers: There is a chance of transferring sperm into her vagina if she touches herself while her hand is still wet and if the wetness from your semen or pre-cum comes in contact with her vaginal secretions. Pre-cum usually gets released in small quantities so it dries up quickly, probably too quickly to be dangerous (unless it is coming in direct contact from your penis).
Pre-cum may contain sperm, it all depends on the last time that you ejaculated, so sometimes it will have sperm in it and some times it won't. You have to always act safely to create good habits and because in the heat of the moment, you may not be able to calculate when exactly you last ejaculated.
As far as the hymen is concerned, there is absolutely no difference in the risk of pregnancy if the hymen is broken or not. The hymen does not cover the whole vaginal entrance, but just the rim, so it is just as easy for a girl with an intact hymen to get pregnant, if semen is placed in or near her vagina.
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| Handjob Safety |
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Dear Dinah,
i gave my bf a handjob about 3 months ago. i washed my hands right after with soap and water and then went to the bathroom. i have gotten my period regularly since but the last 2 times it was a little bit lighter than usual. my stomachs a little bloated but thats normal since i have my period now right? i keep hearing you can be pregnant even if you get your period so is there a possibility i am?
Dinah answers: If the handjob is all you are worried about, then you are safe. There is a lot of unnecessary worry about pregnancy, but you need to know that conception doesn't happen without a real reason, and that means contact between his semen and your vagina or vulva area. Masturbation and giving handjobs is one of the safest ways of having sex (as long as you wash your hands afterwards before touching yourself, as you did).
About bleeding when you are pregnant, this does happen but it is not all that common. When there is bleeding, it is not as heavy as a period, but more like spotting, and if it repeats itself around the time of your period a month later, it tends to be even lighter. If you have any doubt, a simple home pregnancy test can set things straight. And if you were 3 months pregnant, you would have a lot of other signs by now.
If you are sexually active, you need to know how to be safe and you must have faith in the way you behave, otherwise, find additional protection so that you can enjoy your sexual experience without fear and guilt.
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| Condoms Leaving You Unsecure |
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Dear Dinah,
the first time i had sex the condom broke outside of the vagina but there was no liquids. then later the next week my fiancee and i had sex twice more and everything was fine. i was also very stressed since the condom broke the first time and as a result of that my vagina was spotting for a week and my period was three days late and then it started. a week and a half after my period we had sex again and we used the condom the right way and it didnt break and everything was fine and that was this month. now that im waiting for my period im 3 days late but i have been extremely stressed from school and i havent seen my period yet. for the last 2 days i have also been experiencing cramps. so i dont know if im either pregnant or just really stressed or if my period is just trying to start at the beginning of the month.
another question. is it possible to get pregnant if you use a condom right and nothing breaks? or leaks? thank you for your help.
Dinah answers: Since the first time you had sex with a condom, it seems that you have figured out how to use them safely, which means that you will have maximum protection. It is possible to get pregnant when using a condom, even if it does not tear or slip, because of other human errors, but this is very, very rare. Most condom pregnancy slip-ups are caused, as we said, by it tearing mid-way or slipping off and spilling semen. Just keep being careful when placing the condom on, and when removing it and you should be sufficiently safe.
As regards bleeding while you are pregnant, it is true that a minority of women have some bleeding when they are first pregnant, and they confuse this with menstrual bleeding. But this is being a bit naïve, or possibly being in denial, because menstrual bleeding is much more intense and lasts many days longer, whereas the bleeding that might occur during early pregnancy is usually more like spotting, even if it appears around the time of the absent period.
Your period may be affected by many factors, especially if it is not always spot on time. The cramps that you mentioned are much more likely to indicate an upcoming period than being pregnant. There are no definite signs of early pregnancy because (just like with your period), every woman feels different clues. Sore breasts are very common, but then sore breast are also a sign of an upcoming period.
In short, there are no easy answers. All I can suggest is doing a home pregnancy test, but it can only be done a few days after the period is late, otherwise it will not be accurate.
If you find that month after month you are waiting anxiously for your period, you should consider using a form of contraception that gives you more peace of mind. While condoms are the best protection we have for STDs, there are many other natural and medical contraceptive options to be tried.
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| Indirect Impregnation – Part 33 |
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Dear Dinah,
My boyfriend and I had sex the other day. Before he put on the condom, I touched the head of his penis and it was just a little damp from precum and my hands were barely even wet from it. He then put a spermicidal condom on and I touched it for like 3 seconds, and then we proceeded to have sex. Was there any way that the precum on my fingers could have transferred on the condom and gotten me pregnant?
I got my period last Friday, so am about 5 days into my cycle when we had sex, and started birth control that Sunday, but it said I still needed to wait one week for it to be completely effective, so I was just wondering if I should be worrying at all or am at any risk of pregnancy?
Dinah answers: The case you describe seems like an almost impossible way to get pregnant, or put otherwise, while you can never be 110% sure, there are many reasons why it would be unlikely. In the first place, pre-cum has a low sperm content; once it is removed from the penis and transfered to another surface, it will not survive easily, especially if it comes in contact with spermicide.
You then bring up another reason – you have begun taking the pill, so you have some protection from that, but also you are protected by the fact that you are at an early point in your cycle. As you have said, some doctors / family planning professionals tend to say that it takes a week until you are covered, others say a month, and yet others believe that you are safe from very first day that you the start the pill.
Taking all these reasons under consideration, I'd say that you are safe this month, and as long as you can remember to keep taking your pills regularly, at the same time each day, you can feel secure that you are doing a good job in the way of contraception.
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| Danger of Wiping Pre-cum |
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Dear Dinah,
i know you've been asked this time and time before but im not exactly sure if all the answers fit my situation. I gave my boyfriend a handjob and i felt some pre-cum come out, and as gross as this sounds i wiped it on his hoodie. after all of that happened i went to use the bathroom after i got home which took about 5-10 mins. ive been worrying that i could be pregnant from wiping. idk if i ever touched myself though. im supposed to get my period this week or next week it always varies and right now i have sore breasts and lower abdominal cramps which usually happen before i get my period. i think it might be delayed because of the major stress ive been for about the last 4 days. please help.
Dinah answers: The important part of keeping it safe if to avoid his fluids touching your vulva area. What you describe cannot endanger you because it touch only your hand, and then had plenty time to dry while being exposed to the open air.
By the way it isn't gross to wipe his pre-cum on his penis; many people use pre-cum as a sort of lubricant and it is totally safe as long as it doesn't get spread in placed like your fingers, that can then be washed. Remember that pre-cum can spread STDs as well as causing unwanted pregnancy, if it touches your genitals.
But as you already know, periods can be delayed by stress, so do your best to believe that you behaved safely and that your period will arrive. All the signs are there – the sore breasts and cramps, and I believe that by the time you read this, you'll be in the swing of your period.
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| Indirect Impregnation – Part 32 |
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Dear Dinah,
Ok so I am so stupid! my boyfriend cummed and i didnt even realize and i rubbed my stomache where the cum was and then rubbed my vagina...could i become pregnant? I was ovulating but I didnt penetrate I rubbed it though pretty good lol...I was still very wet and I heard that makes it easier for sperm to float on up...any worries?
Dinah answers: I'm afraid you may have something to worry about. You don't need to insert your partner's semen in order for it to travel upwards and inwards; it is enough that it comes close to your vaginal entrance, especially where there is some of your natural wetness (which includes some of your cervical mucus, designed specially to guide semen towards your internal reproductive parts).
This is a good opportunity to seek out Emergency Contraception, if it is not too late. Otherwise, you'll need to count on your luck this time, and consider it to be a warning to be more aware in the future to keep any wetness that you feel far way from your vulva, and better yet, to dry it up as soon as you can.
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| Does Mouthwash Work as a Contraceptive? |
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Dear Dinah,
I washed my mouth out with mouthwash just before i starting giving my boyfriend a blowjob. Half way through my boyfriend decided to enter me and came inside my vagina. I was on day 15 of my cycle. Ive been told that the mouthwash will have killed off the sperm and cant get pregnant. Is this true?
Dinah answers: Absolutely and unquestionably, your answer is no! Mouthwash cannot protect you from pregnancy, in fact, it couldn't even protect you if you had poured it into your vagina, as opposed to leaving traces of it on his penis, which is all you did.
Day 15 is a very fertile time for most women, so you should be be aware that you have been unsafe and follow-up with a pregnacny test if your period does not arrive on time.
Next time, don't listen to whoever gave you this incorrect information; there is a reasonn why household goods are not included on lists of successful methods of contraception.
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| What Does Spotting Mean? |
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Dear Dinah,
I had a problem with our condom breaking after the first time of having sex. my period is late 2 days but i see pink blotches - i asked my mother and she said it was trying to start so im confused and i dont know if its that i've been stressed that it hasnt started yet. my sister was late days this month so i was wondering if i would as late since she threw me off track again. i dont think i could be pregnant but im just confused on why when i wipe by my vagina theres pink blotches and when i wipe a second time its gone... and its been doing that since christmas it is now the 29th.
thank you. im worried
Dinah answers: The pink blotches you are describing are probably “spotting”. It is drops of menstrual blood, mixed with normal mucus, but there isn't enough blood for it to be red. Spotting is quite normal for some girls in the middle or the cycle or even just before your period comes. It also sometimes happens when women are pregnant, but it is no reason to believe that you are pregnant because it can occur for so many reasons, and spotting in itself is not a problem.
You are correct in thinking that your period could be delayed by stress or even because of the influence of other women living in your house. Maybe doing a home pregnancy test will help reduce your tension levels. If your period does not begin in another week or do, you need to go do a test anyway.
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| Touching After a Handjob |
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Dear Dinah,
This is the same as other questions you've answered but i really need to know. Ok i gave my bf a handjob and it was only pre-cum that got on my hand. then as gross as this sounds i wiped it on his hoodie. 2 hours later i touched myself. could i be pregnant? i didnt stick my fingers inside and didnt come close to the opening but im afraid i might be even though i am not showing any signs. oh and i have a 28 day cycle in between and my period ended 3 days earlier. am i pregnant?
Dinah answers: I think you can relax and stop worrying about being pregnant. It is absolutely alright to rub any ejaculate or pre-cum on your boyfriends body, especially around his penis when he is aroused; it can feel really good and nothing bad can come of it - as long as the fluid doesn't touch your genital area while it is still wet!
After 2 hours, any fluid and especially pre-cum, will have dried up and killed any of the sperm that might have once been there. Two hours is also enough time to kill any bacteria or viruses that could cause an STI (sexually transmitted infection).
You may have some dried gunk on your hand, that has a smell and needs washing, but it cannot make you pregnant. In future, to make sure you don't get worried over a similar episode, just remember to wash your (and his) hands with soap and water and dry them well before touching your genital area.
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| Condom Tearing Anxiety |
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Dear Dinah,
my boyfriend and i were trying sex for the first time and he barely put it inside - we were using a condom but once he pulled out and i grabbed on to it to put it in again and it was near the lips of the vagina and he pushed and it broke in the lips but i don't believe it was inside the vagina. i was freaking out cause it broke so i ran to the bathroom immediately and used the bathroom (urinated) and wiped up my discharge then i took a washcloth and soap and cleaned it really well and i changed my underwear and pants cause they weren't completely off when i was doing it.
he did not have any pre-cum or cum in the condom or outside - later i found out that he had to use the rest room and said that the reason there probably wasn't any liquid from his body was because he had to urinate.
i'm really worried even though i'm sure nothing happened. i'm just trying to be safe. thank you
Dinah answers: It is really upsetting when a condom breaks because it does put you at risk despite your having taken steps to protect yourselves. I recommend that you read this article which explains the ins and outs of condom use and how to avoid things that cause a condom to tear. Just keep using them and know that with practice, you shouldn't have incidents like this in the future.
From your description, you should not be at risk, because there was no lingering contact between your genitals and his. As soon as it tore, you pulled away. As you correctly mentioned, if there was no sign of cum or pre-cum, then you are not exposed to any danger (there is a small chance of contracting an STD like herpes or HPV, which are spread by skin contact, but this could barely happen in the split second that you were “uncovered”, if there was no direct rubbing).
You acted smartly by stopping the sex immediately once the condom tore. This is the only thing that is actually useful. Washing doesn't help, nor does urinating. If there had been some ejaculate or pre-cum, I would suggest that you get hold of emergency contraception, but it appears that this would be excessive in your case.
Just a word about washing (douching) yourself straight after sex – advice for next time. Usually this does more harm than good. Although some women may prefer to wipe away semen if their partner ejaculates inside them, it is alright to wipe the outer vulva, by you shouldn't wash inside the vagina. The washing and rubbing and use of soap against the sensitive vaginal tissue can create tiny tears and increase the risk of contracting STDs or developing yeast infections.
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| Can Saliva Protect against Pregnancy? |
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Dear Dinah,
Is it possible to get pregnant if my boyfriend inserted his cum with saliva inside me?
Dinah answers: Even though saliva will kill the sperm that it comes in contact with, it simply cannot cover a mouthful of semen. It is not clear exactly how much ejaculate found its way into you, but I'd still say there is a pretty good chance that this would put you at risk of getting pregnant.
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| Cleaning Up with Hand Sanitizer |
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Dear Dinah,
My boyfriend and I engaged in oral sex and he pre-ejaculated on my hand when I had given him a handjob. Some 5-10 min later when I had finished, I cleaned up with some hand sanitizer. Later, when I went to the bathroom to use the toilet, I quickly rinsed my hand prior to that with cold water, but I didn't use soap. I'm wondering what the risk of pregnancy is if I had used hand sanitizer rather than using soap and water, and I'm also wondering if it is possible that some of that sperm had transferred from my hand to the tissue, and then to my vaginal area while I was wiping myself with toilet paper. My hands were dry by the way when I was using the toilet paper. I imagine that the risk of pregnancy is pretty low, but I wanted some expert advice and feedback on this. Thanks.
Dinah answers: Sperm would not be strong enough to survive the onslaught of hand sanitizer, water and wiping, certainly not if it was pre-ejaculate, which contains a very small amount of sperm (as compared to the tens or hundreds of millions present in ejaculate).
I think you acted safely because at no time did you transfer fresh ejaculate to your vulval or vaginal area, but cleaned off in between.
I would like to mention that while hand sanitizer is good for neutralizing bacteria or semen on the hands, you should never use it anywhere around the vulva or vagina. It wipes out the healthy bacteria which protect you and messes up the natural balance of your vaginal fluids.
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| Counting the Safe Days |
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Dear Dinah,
My average menstrual cycle is 28-29 days. Last night, my boyfriend ejaculated inside me without a condom, and last night was the 20th day of my menstrual cycle.
Another thing: About the 15-16 day of my menstrual, i will get a white color thing discharge from my vagina, is that the unfertilized ovary? Is it safe to have unprotected sex after the ovary is discharged?
I await your reply, Thank You
Dinah answers: Take a look at the fertility table and you will see that day 20 is a safe day, if your cycle is really stable at 28-29 days. But keep in mind that on any given cycle, there can be surprises and delays, and you cannot know in advance when your ovulation will take place, you can only try to predict it by basing the calculation on previous months. Also, unprotected sex on safe days does not protect you from STDs. What I am trying to say is that counting safe days is a very old method of birth control, but not necessarily a completely safe one.
As far as vaginal discharge goes, the colour of the discharge usually indicates how fertile you are. The clear sticky discharge appears when you are ovulating and most fertile, and it usually turns white when you are no longer fertile. This may be your case, if the same discharge appears at the same time in each cycle, or it may be a sign of candida (yeast infection) or some other cause of discharge. You may need to have a gynecologist look and take a culture to know for sure.
In any case, this white discharge is not the unfertilized egg, because that is released through the bleeding of your period.
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| Hormone Doses in the Pill |
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Dear Dinah,
I have a question about birth control. I was wondering if the dose of hormones in the pills are always the same week to week. Like is the first week a higher dose than the third week? And I was wondering how a women bleeds when she is on the pill if she is on a 21 or 28 pack of active pills?
Dinah answers: Contraceptive pills have exactly the same dose of hormones every single day for 21 days. That is why many types of contraceptive pills have days printed on them so you can begin on any day of the week (according to your period) and it will make no difference to your hormonal coverage.
Those pills that come as 28-day pills simply have 21 hormonal pills plus 7 sugar pills which are hormone-free. The idea of having “fake pills” is that some women don't want to get out of the habit of taking a pill every day and this will keep them in the loop and remind them what day to begin a new pack.
It is during these 7 days, either when no pills or taken or sugar pills are taken, that the body notices the drop in these particular hormones and begins to bleed. The bleeding will stop spontaneously after 3-4 days or soon after the next pack of pills is started.
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| Driving Home with Cum on the Hands |
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Dear Dinah,
I gave my boyfriend a handjob and he came and there was semen on my hands. I then wiped it off with tissue and then drove back home. When I got home, I forgot about the semen and washed myself using that hand without washing it first. Could I get pregnant when the semen has dried and then became wet and in direct contact with my vagina after sometime? The ride home took approximately 10 minutes... I'm really worried.
Dinah answers: If your hand was completely dry, no sperm could survive being dried out and exposed to 10 minutes of airflow, especially after your hands were wiped clean. There is nothing to worry about under these circumstances.
In future, you should use soap and water, or sanitizing liquid, before touching anything else, not only for safety but for hygiene purposes too.
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| Virgin Pregnancy |
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Dear Dinah,
In muslim society when you get engaged, you are not able to visit or touch your wife. I visited my wife at her home in order to see her. When I met her, we were fooling around. I had my penis on her clitoris and I was moving it in between her thighs a circular motion to reach orgasm, but I never entered in her vulva. I continued making the circular motion with my penis. There was pre-cum involved, though. I orgasmed between her thighs and then she directly cleaned the semen with her skirt...Now her period is currently 3 days late. Could she be pregnant? I'm very nervous about it as in Islamic society it is a big problem for both of us. Please tell me what to do to prevent it.
Dinah answers: Your fiancé cannot get pregnant if you ejaculated between her thighs and it was wiped up immediately. The only way that this can be dangerous is if some of the cum landed on her vulva, which from your description did not happen. There is, however, a very small risk that pre-cum entered her when you were massaging her clitoris with your penis.
What may have happened is that her worry and stress about pregnancy or other worries can delay her period. This is a common cause of delayed periods. If this is the case, her period will be along within a number of days.
If her period does not start within a week of her expected date, and if she is normally regular, she should take a home pregnancy test. Some women who are stressed, find that by taking a home pregnancy tests, and getting a negative answer, their tension is relieved and their period soon arrives. If this is difficult to do, you can get tested at a local clinic.
If by chance she is pregnant, you can discuss your options. At this very early point in the pregnancy you have various options of terminating the pregnancy, if you choose to do so.
If you choose to have non-intercourse sex again and you want to be extra safe, wear a condom and ejaculate into the condom so that the cum goes nowhere near your partner.
Another helpful tip for future reference is the morning-after pill. If this form of contraception is not available where you live, you can always ask your doctor to prescribe regular birth control pills at a higher dose for 2 days. You need the correct dose, so a doctor needs to explain how and when to take. Just know that this option exists, but only for about 72 hours after the unprotected act.
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| Dry Hand Sex |
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Dear Dinah,
So I gave my boyfriend a handjob for a while but he didn't come, there might have been precum on him but my hands were dry... then he told me to stop and touch myself but I hadn't washed my hands so I didn't do it, I just put my hand on my underwear for a little bit (my hand was dry) and now I'm worried, could I be pregnant from this? I am so scared, I'm only 14 and don't want to be pregnant :/
Dinah answers: From your description of what happened, I would say that you are perfectly safe. You seem very aware of what you are doing and where the risks lie, and if you keep this in mind, you will have nothing to worry about as far as pregnancy or STDs go.
Pre-cum may be difficult to notice when there is other wetness around, but if his penis and hand are completely dry, you will be able to feel when pre-cum drips out.
Touching yourself with a dry hand, and especially when there is no skin-on-skin contact, is completely safe.
The only question that remains for me is to ask you (and you need to ask yourself at each new stage) whether you are completely comfortable getting sexual in this way with your boyfriend. Even if you want to get closer but the worries about pregnancy and/or STDs keep bothering you, you may want to pull back and wait until you are completely comfortable. There is no right age for this; you will know when the will feels better than the worry.
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| Just Fooling Around? |
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Dear Dinah,
my girlfriend and i were fooling around but not having sex. My penis was around her vagina but never went in. I'm afraid that some pre-cum might have gone near her vagina. What are the chances of pregnancy?
Dinah answers: Although actual penetration is the most effective way to get sperm inside a woman, it is possible under certain circumstances to get pregnant from genital-to-genital contact without penetration, as you described. The chances cannot be given in percentages, but there are a few factors which make pregnancy possible under these conditions:
1. You released pre-cum which happens when you are highly aroused.
2. She is well lubricated because she is aroused.
3. Your pre-cum, which spreads around the edge of your penis, comes in
contact with wetness from her lubricating.
The mucus in her lubrication can protect your sperm and guide them into her vagina. There is more of this mucus around the time that she ovulates, so if you know when her next period is expected, you can have a better idea of how fertile she was on that particular day. See the fertility chart for more exact dates.
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| Pulling Out Again and Again |
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Dear Dinah,
The past month i had unprotected sex with my partner. He pulled out before he came. Before he went to the bathroom, we had sex again after we cleaned everything up off of each other. Then about a week after i ended up having sex with my ex at a party. Again, unprotected. But still again, pulled out. I'm really scared. I haven't got my period yet and i was supposed to get it about a week ago. I'm getting the test soon. But how likely am i? I keep reading different stories like "yes i've gotten pregnant twice from precum!" "no there isn't that much of a chance don't worry!" .. I dont know what to believe!!
please help sooon!!
Dinah answers: Having unprotected sex and then pulling out is always dangerous – both for unwanted pregnancy and STDs. The danger is especially high on your more fertile days ( you can work out when they are using this chart) I cannot say which episode was closer to your time of ovulation, and therefore at the greater risk, but it is safe to say that what you did with your partner was especially risky, namely having a second unprotected round of sex.
As you described it, he had just ejaculated and this means that there were fresh sperm in his urethra. On the second round, any pre-cum would have placed these fresh sperm most effectively inside you.
It is not certain that you are pregnant, but I can say without doubt that this method could well get you pregnant sooner or later. It is good that you took a pregnant test. Now you can just wait and see. Your delayed period might be due to high stress levels, which is quite natural under the circumstances, or it could be that you are indeed pregnant. If so, get yourself to your doctor or family planning clinic and start thinking about your options, which are still many at this point.
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| Indirect Impregnation – Part 31 |
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Dear Dinah,
My boyfriend took off his condom and sperm got on my thigh. is it possible that when i pulled my panties up the sperm can go in me!?
Dinah answers: It really depends on how much semen spilled on you, how long passed before you pulled up the panties, as well as if the wet part of your panties had direct contact with your own lubrication. Because the material of your panties would naturally absorb the fluid and once the semen dries out, the sperm will not be alive and strong enough to swim in and impregnate you for more than a few seconds.
You nevertheless need to be careful of the wet bits, even when he ejaculates away from your vulva. In future, you should take off the condom before the penis becomes completely soft, when the cum is still at the tip, tie the end of the condom before it spills and wipe your hands well.
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| Hymen, Masturbation and Pregnancy |
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Dear Dinah,
Can i get pregnant through mutual masturbation if my hymen has broken? how can i tell if it has broken?
Dinah answers: If you are careful, mutual masturbation is the safest form of coupled sex. But if you have contact between body fluids (eg if he ejaculates on or near your vulva, or if you touch him and then touch yourself), mutual masturbation can put you at risk of pregnancy and STDs.
There is no relationship between the hymen and your risk of pregnancy. A “full” hymen has a hole on the middle so that it cannot and will not stop semen from entering you if it is close to your vulva.
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| Part-time Condom |
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Dear Dinah,
My husband and have been having sex without a condom when we first start and a little while later he puts it on. Can I still get pregnant? The last time was 2 days before I ovulate. I would really like to know if I can still get pregnant using that method.
Dinah answers: I'm glad you are suspicious enough of your method to ask this question. The answer is a big, clear yes! Using a condom from somewhere in the middle of the sex puts you at risk of pregnancy.
Although most of the semen is released when he ejaculates, a small amount are released in the pre-cum, the little drops of wetness that leak out of the penis when he is aroused, but before he orgasms and ejaculates. The pre-cum is meant to clean out his urethra before the sperm are sent through it. It may seem like he is lubricating a bit, or it may be that you have never noticed it. In any case, it is a regular part of his sexual functioning, and if it occurs before you put the condom on, it means that small amounts of sperm are entering your vagina unhampered. This is also the reason why the pulling out method (coitus interruptus) is not a safe method.
Using this method is especially risky in the days immediately before ovulation.
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| He Didn't Pull Out on Time |
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Dear Dinah,
I don't know the exact day of my ovulating, but i had sex last night and i should be starting my period in 1 to 2 days. We didn't use anything and he couldn't pull out fast enough so it all went in me. I went to the bathroom cause i could feel it all coming out of me. and i washed my lower area off real good. but still like hours later i could still feel it coming out....so my question is what is the risk that i'm pregnant?
Dinah answers: There is no way that you can wash away all the semen if your partner has ejaculated inside you. There is therefore a chance of getting pregnant, the odds depend on when it occurred during your cycle and if you choose to use emergency contraception.
Ovulation occurs about 14 days before your period, so figuring it out depends on how long your cycle is. To better understand this take a look at the fertility table. You are potentially fertile for up to 5 days before and some time after ovulation.
If you are close to your fertile days or if you are worried, you can still hurry to a nearby pharmacy or a family planning clinic and ask for Emergency Contraception or Plan B, which is effective up to 3 days after the event, maybe even a day or two longer.
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| Pregnancy Without Intercourse |
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Dear Dinah,
My boyfriend and I have talked and said that we are not ready for sex after 2 years of dating but sometimes we have really passionate kisses and I want him to feel an orgasm. If I give him a blow job without a condom and some sperm lands on my jeans or underwear near my vagina, is there a chance of pregnancy? Or if we kiss after I give him a blow job and he comes down on me can I become pregnant?
Dinah answers: It is generally accepted that ejaculate cannot pass through textiles like underwear or other layers and still have the virility to keep traveling and get you pregnant. But this may not be an effective shield if your underwear is lacy or very thin or if it barely covers your vulva. So you need to be careful how you handle the big “wet spots”. If you wipe his ejaculate with your hand – from your jeans, your underwear, your sheets or your skin and touch your vulva directly with wet hands, the sperm can move from one wet area to the other without losing their potency. Just keep in mind that they can potentially remain active as long as they are wet.
As far as spreading though the chain of oral sex (you doing him)-kissing-oral sex (him doing you), the answer is unclear. Sperm tends to die when they come in contain with saliva, so small amounts of semen will not be a problem. However, if you hold large amounts of semen in your mouth, for example if he ejaculates and you do not spit it out or swallow it, you can then transfer a pool of semen (which means millions) back to your partner. This is too much for your saliva to neutralize and you can theoretically be impregnated this way, if not much time passes from act to act.
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| Indirect Impregnation - Part 30 |
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Dear Dinah,
My boyfriend and I were fooling around and I gave him a hand job. I am pretty sure some pre-cum got on my hand. After about 20-30 minutes and after I went about touching objects such as my clothes and chair, I went to use the bathroom(pee) and I wiped myself with a paper tissue(in no way coming in direct contact with my genitals). After, I realized that I had forgotten to wash my hands before using the bathroom. I am expecting my period in about 2-3 weeks since it always comes around the beginning of every month. Am I at risk of getting pregnant?
Dinah answers: Although semen can be transferred indirectly under the right conditions, it seems that you are safe in this case because a small amount of semen on your fingers could not survive 20 minutes in the open.
As long as you continue to be aware that you can't touch his semen and then yourself without washing your hands, you shouldn't have to worry about instances like this in the future. I hope that your period arrives on time; if you remain stressed, it may be held up a few days.
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| Danger by Dripping |
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Dear Dinah,
I am a 28-29 day cycle girl. i had unprotected sex w/ my bf on my first day of my ovulation period. He didn't finish inside me but he came on me and some managed to go inside my vagina. Now i am on my 25th day and do not know if there is a chance i could be pregnant or not. When would be a good time to check? 1 week after my period is missed? Could i even get pregnant if the semen was exposed to air prior to going inside me?
Dinah answers: Its great that you are so in touch with your cycle and know exactly when you ovulate, but you also need to internalize that having sex without protection is very risky, especially around ovulation time. The situation that you just described is one of the ways in which you can be at risk of becoming pregnant, even if you think that pulling out and ejaculating outside is protecting you. Its still not safe.
Sure, some of the semen may be weakened by exposure to air, but there are so many millions contained in his seminal fluid, and as long as it is wet and runny, they can survive.
Home pregnancy tests are accurate once you are a few days late on your period. Some tests advertise that they can detect from one day late, but I would suggest waiting another couple of days, so that you won't have a false negative (when the test shows you are not pregnant, but in fact it is just too early to detect). At this point, a few days won't make any difference to the choices you need to make. Ready more on home pregnancy tests.
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| Dripping in During a Shower |
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Dear Dinah,
my boyfriend cummed on my stomach and i got up and got in the shower right away but i am afraid that some may have dripped into my vagina while showering.
Dinah answers: It is practically impossible for the sperm to enter you during a shower if you were standing upright and you didn't wipe your vaginal area with ejaculate on your fingers.
You are correct in thinking that the water would wash the semen down towards your vagina, but semen that are being diluted by large amounts of water will not have the strength and the time to swim up your vagina. This does NOT mean that washing after sex can prevent conception; it simply means that if sperm are spilled far from the vaginal entrance, away from contact with vaginal discharge, they will not be able to swim in on there own, and certainly not if there is a strong stream of water washing away any semen and vaginal discharge.
If you continue to have “outer-course” sex in this way, without using contraception, it may make you feel safer in future to have a towel or tissues on hand to wipe up the ejaculate long before it starts trickling into any risky areas. Just make sure not to touch anywhere around your genitals with the same cloth that you've wiped up the semen.
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| Indirect Impregnation - Part 29 |
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Dear Dinah,
I Missed my period this july. i was supposed to have it by july 8 but since my period is irregular. i missed it this month. then last july 18, My boyfriend and i were watching A movie. then he asked me to touch his penis. I Asked him where his penis is located, i Mean, where it is, he then held my hand using his right hand. I Dont know if he has touched the pre-cum but im sure he has touched his penis using the same hand. then he inserted that right hand on my buttocks tryin to reach my vulva but he can't so he slid his hand on my buttocks and remove his hand. he then started opening my pants and he touched my vulva. Is there any possibility that i can get pregnant? Although there is a possibility that the pre-cum have been dried out because his hand has been slid on my buttocks and the pre-cum might gotten dry? :( Please help. im only 17 yrs.old. Thanks!
Dinah answers: There seems to be a little bit of confusion about the anatomy, but this doesn't make any difference to the point that I've tried to make time and time again: any contact - direct or indirect - between your vulva and his penis, without protection, leaves you vulnerable to pregnancy and STDs.
About the "missed period", this term is a bit misleading, because a period does not go missing, or just disappear, it is delayed and there is always a reason. It could be stress or diet change, or it could be that you are pregnant or that there is another unusual process going on in your body. You should check it out if you are a few weeks late, and it is not regular for you to be late.
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| Indirect Impregnation - Part 28 |
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Dear Dinah,
Me and my girlfriend were playing around and she was giving me oral sex and touching my penis at the same time, i never ejaculated but she finger-banged herself afterwards with the same hand that she was touching my penis while giving me oral sex, im sure i pre-ejaculated can she get pregnant ?
Dinah answers: I've said it before and I'll keep saying it. Any contact between the genitals, either direct or indirect, with fingers or other objects, can lead to pregnancy if there is pre-ejaculate, which will appear once you get to a high level of excitement. Even if there is no penetration, you need to wear a condom when you have sex in this way.
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| But it was Just a Touch? |
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Dear Dinah,
here's the deal. I and my girlfriend was fooling around a week ago. My penis touched her vulva but I didn't go in. there was no ejaculate at all but there might be some pre ejaculate. Is there any chance she get pregnant? cuz it was just so little and outside...
Dinah answers: I'm afraid the answer is yes, there is a chance of getting pregnant. The chances are not very high, but they definitely exist.
Any direct genital contact after there has been some excitement, no matter how quick or deep, leaves you at risk of pregnancy, and of course STDs.
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| Messing Around But On the Pill |
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Dear Dinah,
I am on the pill, and I take it every day. Though I am sometimes about an hour or two off in taking them--this is only occasionally.
I gave my boyfriend a handjob, and I was using both hands. His cum got on my left hand and afterwards, as we were getting changed, I haphazardly stroked the upper area of my clit with my right hand.
Now, even though i think all the cum got on my left hand, I wasn't sure if it was on my right hand and I just stroked my clit with it.
My hand was completely dry, though i wasn't sure if the sperm could still be there.
Could I possibly get pregnant? Even if its a small chance, I hear it could happen?
Dinah answers: The new generation pills are considered to be upwards of 99% effective, over a year's use. If you are on the pill and you take it consistently and timely (within an hour or so occasionally, is considered on time), then you are being as safe as you can be against pregnancy.
Whether you are having intercourse or other genital contact, you are safe if you are on the pill, at least to the level of safety that you can reach. This means that about 1% of year-long pill users can get pregnant despite doing everything right.
There seems very little to be worried about on this particular occasion. If your hand was dry, sperm could not survive there. They could survive in skin folds or between the fingers where it may be moist, but they do not jump like lice, so if you didn't touch yourself with any part of your skin that was moist, you could not transfer sperm.
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| How Safe are Condoms with Spermicide |
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Dear Dinah,
Me and my boyfriend always used condoms when we have sex. I was just wondering if i can we pregnant if the spermicidal condom he was wearing didn't have any holes or tears and didn't break? I'm supposed to ovulate in 8 or 9 days and I was wondering if I could get pregnant or not.
Dinah answers: Condoms, if used properly are safe. There are arguments about how safe they are, but all the sides agree that they are not 100% safe. That means that if you use them consistently and properly for a year, somewhere between 2%-5% of couples will become pregnant. After a year of using them incorrectly, (see how to use a condom properly) the chances of failure go up to 11%-15%. Of course the chances of being infected with an STD when using a condom are more or less the same, depending on which type of STD.
So you can improve your safety by using the condom carefully and properly. Storing them properly is a big part of this. Spermicide is not safe enough on its own, but along with a condom, spermicide increases your protection against pregnancy. You should not use condoms with spermicide unless you are sure that you and your partner are free of STD's because spermicide can increase your chances of infection if an STD is present.
The days around ovulation are the most fertile, but it is best not to count on this as a guide to birth control because trying to predict the right day is tricky and not necessarily systematic.
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| Barely Touching Genitals |
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Dear Dinah,
me and my girl had sex and i was wearing a condom. i even pulled out. she was on top, so, when i took off my condom, she moved and my penis BARELY rubbed against the outside of her pussy with stuff on it. what are the chances of her being pregnant? she is also now a day late on her period.
Dinah answers: The answer depends on how you remove the condom and where you touched each other, as well as how fertile she was on the day (see the chart).
If you remove the condom while you are still hard, as they recommend, the chances are that most of the semen will be caught at the bottom of the condom and not spread around your penis. If you have already become flaccid (soft), the semen could be all over the place by the time you remove the condom.
If the part of your penis that touched her was wet and you touched a place on her that was wet, your chances of sperm being able to travel into her vagina are increased. If you just scathed past a dry area, around the mons or outer lips, then the chances of conception are negligible.
It's great that you use condoms. Don't worry about their safety because they are very safe, especially after you iron out a few wrinkles, like learning the perfect time to put them on and take them off.
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| Indirect Impregnation – part 27 |
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Dear Dinah,
I was giving my boyfriend oral sex and he never came in my mouth, but after that we kissed and he went down on me for a while. I was wondering if I could get pregnant from that because im not sure if there was precum in my mouth or not. I had finished taking the second dose of the morning after pill the day before.
Dinah answers: If you aren't sure whether of not there was precum, always assume there was. However, the chances of any precum having enough active sperm to survive the onslaught of saliva, through which it could be transferred to the vagina in oral sex, is negligent.
As for the point about the morning after pill, your body would have a high dose of contraceptive hormones from the “morning after pill” for at least 24 hours after taking that last pill. In the hours after this it goes down and loses any effect.
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| But it Landed on My Stomach... |
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Hi Dinah,
I'm a tremendous fan of the condom, use it all the time. However my question to you is this : Boyfriend and I used a condom, he pulled out when he felt it was time to and ripped his condom off and aimed his jizz at my breasts. Now I wasn't lying flat on my back- I was sitting leaning back on an angle. He missed a little and jizzed on my stomach. This happened to drip down onto my hood which I then proceeded to wipe off. I then went into the bathroom to wash everything off. I'm nervous because his cum was in my area from dripped down to wiping off--I don't know if I did more harm doing so. And on top of that I was very wet by this point so wiping it up with this mucus stuff around wasn't the best solution?! I just pray my va-jay jay didn't suck all of his sperm up and inside. We aren't ready for kids and I certainly want to wait until we have our priorities straight (marriage, house, career, etc.) please help! tell me something good.
Dinah answers: First something good, as requested: I'm really happy that you're a fan of the condom and you use it all the time. And now for the not always good news: condoms are only as safe as the way they are used. When you rip them off before ejaculation, you are taking down their efficacy significantly, even if he doesn't cum inside you. This is because – as you well know – the semen comes out in a consistency that makes it run and spread (not to mention make a mess) very easily.
Your own lubricant (mixed with cervical mucus) comes out fast and furious when you are turned on. The mucus gets stringy around ovulation, making it nature's way of helping the sperm to find their way in.
So where do you go from here? Emergency contraception is your best move if you still have time. It is meant to be taken within 72 hours but has limited effect up to 5 days. From there on you wait for your period and consider the options only when you know your status. Stress and anxiety are likely to delay your period, so take this into consideration.
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| Risk of Pregnancy Without Penetration |
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Dear Dinah,
Well, me and my boyfriend were fooling around. He had his penis on my clitoris and I was moving it in a circular motion to reach orgasm, but he never entered me. Only with his fingers while I continued making the circular motion with his penis. There was pre-cum involved, though. I orgasmed...my period is currently 3 days late. Am I, or could I be pregnant?
Dinah answers: Whereas the act that you described is very erotic and, as you noticed, it can be highly satisfying, it is not completely safe. Whenever there is contact between the genitals, there needs to be use of contraception is you are not willing to become pregnant. Any discharge from your partner, whether it is precum or ejaculate, can enter the vagina because that is the design of the reprodcutive organs. Some believe that your orgasm helps increase the chances of fluid being drawn in to the vagina.
There is a chance that you may be pregnant, but you may also be late due to stress. It may be wise to take a home pregnancy test because by now you should be able to get an accurate reading.
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| Indirect Impregnation – Part 26 |
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Dear Dinah,
Me and my boyfriend were having sex on the second day of my period and we stopped because I told him it hurt. He did have some precum and I touched him (after he took off the condom) and asked him why he didn't pull out (when we have sex he always pulls out when he is about to cum, and we always use condoms) and he told me he didn't know anything came out, so I said okay its fine. But, right after that I wiped my hands off on my sheet and rubbed the outside of my vagina because it was a little sore and remembered that I had just touched my boyfriends precum. So my boyfriend saw what I did and ran to get me a water bottle and a towel to wipe myself off and I was wondering could any of the sperm of his precum gotten in me? And before that I have taken the morning after pill (our condom broke and I flipped out badly) on May 1 so my period was a little different because I had have taken it 4 days after my period had ended so I had withdrawal bleeding on May 5 and my period came on June 5 and the incident happened on June 7 and my period was 5 days long and my cycles are usually 30-32 days long.
Also when I ovulate my side hurts and I've had that pain since May 21 now its June 9 and I've already had my period so I am confused because I don't think I should be ovulating this early.
Dinah answers: There are sometimes small amounts of sperm in the precum. There is then a small chance that you could transfer sperm by hand after having wiped most of it off. So together the chances of impregnation are very low, but still theoretically possible.
The factor of when you had sex during your cycle may be the decisive point here. The second day of your period is completely safe, if you have a regular period of 30-32 days.
Even if the morning after pill (emergency contraception) messed up your regular cycle by a few days, you should be very far from ovulation on day 2 (or 3, according to my count).
It is important to know, however, that it was a proper period, and not just interspersed bleeding brought on by the high dosage of hormones from the emergency contraception. Next time, should there be a next time and I'm pretty certain there won't be, if there is even the slightest doubt, use emergency contraception as soon as possible after the event and save yourself the worry.
The pain that some girls and women feel when they ovulate is pain that doesn't last longer than a few days, and occurs sometimes on the right and sometimes on the left. If the pain you feel on your side has lasted for over 2 weeks and didn't stop when your period began, you should try to establish if it is not a sore muscle on that side, or more seriously, a possible infection for which you should see your gynecologist.
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| Regular or Irregular? |
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Dear Dinah,
I get my period every 31 – 34 days. Does it mean I have a regular cycle or not? I assume that I do, but my friends keep telling me this its not!!! And If its regular as I think then does it mean am ovulating between these days ( Day 14 – Day 16)
Dinah answers: You're period is regular if it comes at the same frequency each cycle. It can be regular at 24 days, 28 days (the average) or 35 days. The number of days that your cycle takes (not just your period but your whole cycle) does not effect whether you are regular or not. At 31-34 days you can consider yourself somewhat regular within a 4-day range.
The issue of regularity is important when you are trying to understand fertile days. When trying to figure out the time of ovulation, you do not count from the first day or the period 14 days forward. You need to know when you expect to get your period and then count 14 days backwards. This works out to be the same day ONLY if you have a 28 day cycle. With a 31-34 day cycle, your ovulation is meant to be around days 17-20.
Of course, ovulation can shift and the only real way to know is to do a home ovulation test or a blood test that checks your hormonal levels.
You can fall pregnant up to 5 days before ovulation and a fews days after, so while knowing the date of ovulation is important for trying to get pregnant, it is a much wider range of days that you need to watch for trying to avoid pregnancy. Without a full understanding of this you cannot use this system for contraception.
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| Saved by the Saliva? |
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Dear Dinah,
How possible is it to get pregnant if I am a 28 day cycle and usually last for 5 days with my period. I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend 3 days after i finished my period. He then came in my mouth and right after he inserted his penis again. I know that saliva kills semen but is there a chance that i can get pregnant? Am I even fertile 3 days after my period?
Dinah answers: It is true that saliva is harmful to semen, but because there are many millions of semen in every drop of ejaculate, and ejaculate spreads and drips easily, saliva cannot be counted on as a spermicide.
It is theoretically possible to ejaculate in your mouth and then enter your vagina with active semen all over the penis.
Fortunately for you, if this was 3 days after your period, you would be on day 8 and that should still be a safe days, if your period comes regularly next month. The system of counting safe days can work, but you need to know a lot about natural fertility control to depend on it.
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| Underwear as a Contraceptive |
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Dear Dinah,
me and my b/f were fooling around, i was wearing my underwear and he was wearing his boxer, i was on top of him, and as i moved i found his boxer is a little bit wet (pre-cum) i was wondering if this can cause pregnancy. also, he tried to insert his penis in my anus, but it didnt go all the way its only the head( that only took few minutes) he didnt cum, and i dont know if there was a pre-cum from that. shall i be worried of pregnancy?
Dinah answers: Underwear is generally a pretty good contraceptive. Although sperm are much smaller than the holes in fabric and can easily swim through, they generally will lose their liveliness because the moisture that they need to swim into the vagina gets absorbed by the fabric.
Having said that, you need to make sure of the quality and shape of the underwear. A flimsy G-string won't offer much of a protective force, nor will boxers if they are gaping open. You can only feel safe if the wetness is absorbed by the fabric and it does not pass though all the way to your vulva.
If it was only pre-cum, and not real ejaculate, there should not have been enough semen to be of any worry.
As for the anal sex (and it is considered anal sex, even if there was only partial entry), there is a real threat that sperm, in the form of ejaculate or pre-cum, could drip into the vagina, because it is so close by and the conditions – the warmth and wetness from both of you – tend to assist.
If your period is regular, this month too, then the day after your last period should not be a fertile day yet. Since you are experimenting with different sensations and ways of having sex, you really should organize a safe form of contraception before hand, and not count the days afterwards. I strongly recommend using a condom for anal sex, with or without another form of contraception and independent of the time of your cycle.
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| The Luck of the Lick |
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Dear Dinah,
Me and My mate were having sex and he pulled out and i licked the cum off of him real fast then got back on top and put it in again. We did this 3 times throughout the night. I am not on birth control and never use a condom.
Im not sure i got all of it off when i liked it though. However I am ovulating at this time i checked my fertility chart. But I have not gotten pregnant yet and have done this before a few times. what should i worry about?
Dinah answers: I think you know enough to realize you have nothing to worry about. Nothing except pregnancy and STDs. You won't get pregnant or catch an STD every time you have unprotected sex, even if it is exactly when you are ovulating, but chances are it will happen soon.
I'd say that your little lick will have missed some of the 500 million or so sperm that he ejaculated, so you're going to need to think of a better form of birth control, and sooner rather than later.
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| Indirect Impregnation – Part 25 |
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Dear Dinah,
i had unprotected sex the day after my period ended and my boyfriend may have precame he is not sure. my cycle usually lasts 30-31 days and when i had sex it was the day after my period/ day 7. what are the odds of my being pregnant?
Dinah answers: If your cycle is indeed regular at 30-31 days, then the day after your period you are not fertile and can't get pregnant. |
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| Indirect Impregnation – Part 24 |
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Dear Dinah,
Can you get pregnant by sucking a guys penis (no cum came out) if afterwards we kissed, used his tongue to lick his fingers and finally touching the vagina?
Dinah answers: Theoretically it is possible for sperm to be discharged in the pre-cum and to transported from the lips, via the fingers, to the vagina. Saliva will kill most of the sperm that comes into contact with it after a few minutes and air exposure will knock some others down, but under the right conditions sperm can survive.
Don't forget that if sperm can survive the ordeal, then STDs can survive even easier. Bacteria, viruses and other bugs don't need to reach the vagina to infect - they can infect the mouth and throat and they travel in both directions.
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| Indirect Impregnation – Part 23 |
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Dear Dinah,
I had sex with a condom & then we had took it off cause he was not able to stay hard. Basically what happened was we had unprotected sex and he used the pull out method he then ejaculated on the bottom part of my stomach and I shifted so some cum went on the upper part of my vagina. I dont think anything got in me but then again I really dont know so I was wondering if it was possible to become pregnant if it had dripped down inside of me like what are the chances ? Also my period had ended a wk. prior to this so was I at a high risk of being fertile at the time. And is it true sperm can live inside you for 7 days and that if it hits the air it will die immediately . ? please get back to me as soon as u can because I am realli stressin the situation.
Dinah answers: Pulling out just before he ejaculates is one of the oldest and least successful forms of contraception. The danger is not just about some semen “dripping down”; there is a small risk of there being sperm in his pre-cum, which is released even before he ejaculates, while he is inside you.
Then there is a chance of sperm entering you by dripping in. Your cervical mucus, which is produced during sex and which is part of your lubrication, actually helps guide sperm into your vagina, so if there was any contact between your fluids, which is highly likely, you could have helped the sperm to find its way inside.
If it is not too late, get to a pharmacy and get yourself emergency contraception. Otherwise you have to wait it out and see. Don't give up on condoms because they reduce sensation. You can find many new ones which are extremely thin and sensitive, and you just need to get used to the feeling.
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| Indirect Impregnation – Part 22 |
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Dear Dinah,
i gave my boyfriend a handjob one night and when he came i got most all of it except for a little on the top of his boxers. he cleaned the rest off but may have gotten a little on his hand. he wiped it off with a tissue and then teased me by rubbing me through my shorts, then underwear, then finally got me off by rubbing my clit. he never lubricated himself and it took about ten minutes from when i got him off and when he touched my clit and this was after him wiping his hand off so i was wondering how much of a possibility i have of getting pregnant. i have a pretty regular cycle and this was about 12 days after the end of my last one.
Dinah answers: Touching your vulva area directly after getting even the smallest drop of semen on his hand can be dangerous. Although 10 minutes is usually enough time for the sperm to dry up and stop being functional, the wetness around this area might keep the semen active for longer, depending on how exposed you were.
If you would like to know if this is a fertile time, you need to be more specific, because every day counts. Take a look at the Fertility Table and calculate exactly which day it was and exactly how long your cycle is. You appear to be right on the border of the last theoretically fertile day.
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| Pregnancy after Pregnancy |
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Dear Dinah,
i have been experiencing a pain in my lower abdomin, like a muscle pain as if i was working out, i also have tender breasts. could i be pregnant? i had a baby 8 weeks ago so are these normal after childbirth? me and my husband have not had sex, but his penis slipped into my vagina about an inch, the day my first period stopped. are these signs of pregnancy or are they normal this long after child birth?
Dinah answers: First of all I beg to differ on your statement “my husband have not had sex”. What you did certainly constitutes sex and any behaviour that brings your genitalia into any contact means that you need to be using contraception.
Whether you have fears of another pregnancy or other unusual and uncomfortable sensations following your birth, you need to be discussing this with your post-natal health care specialist. You should have regular check-ups scheduled but make a special appointment if necessary.
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| Indirect Impregnation - Part 21 |
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Dear Dinah,
Hi my question is i was giving my bf a handjob and he came all over my face there was a little on my face and he touched it without knowing and he started playing with my clit could there be a high or low chance of me being pregnent?
Dinah answers: I can't say exactly how much risk you are at, because I don't know what part of your cycle you were at (take a look at the fertility cycle table to learn about this), but touching semen - wherever it lands - and then touching your vulva is definitely something you need to be more careful about. |
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| Indirect Impregnation – Part 20 |
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Dear Dinah,
I have two experiences. The first was that we had sex. I believe my hand was a bit wet. I fingered my girlfriend 20 minutes later. Her period ended three days earlier. Would she be pregnant? and my second experience was that when we had sex, I took off one condom ..there may have been precum but I washed my hands with soap, twice then I put on a new condom.. Could there be any risk from me touching another condom?
Dinah answers: As for your first experience, I’m not sure why your hand was wet. If it was your semen, it would be very unlikely that it was still alive after 20 minutes. If your hand had been dry for 10 minutes or so before touching her, you can be sure that there is no danger. Besides that, your girlfriend is not fertile 3 days before her period so there would there be no risk of pregnancy at this time. You shouldn't gnerally use this to predict fertility days because periods can always be delayed, unless you also measure temperature and follow her cervical changes.
As for changing condoms in the middle – you did well by washing with soap. This is a good way to kill any sperm that may have gotten onto the condom or your hands. It sounds like there is nothing for you to worry about. You are right to worry: had you changed condoms without washing hands you could well transfer semen from the used condom onto the new one while handling it and unrolling it.
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| Missed a Period |
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Dear Dinah,
The first day of my last period was February 16, 2007 my boyfriend and I had unprotected sex on March 1 and 2 2008. I was suppose to have my next period on March 12, 2008 i am never late, they come like clock work. I also took 3 home pregnancy tests and they all came out negative, but all of a sudden my period was 7 days late and on the 7th day i started to spot only this time it did not last long and the blood was brown. could i still be pregnant?
Dinah answers: It’s not clear when you took the home pregnancy tests. If you take them too early, they could show up negative even though you really are pregnant. According to the dates you give, if you have a 28 day cycle, you were spot in the middle of your fertile days when you had unprotected sex. The spotting and the missed period are certainly signs that something is up. That something could well be pregnancy, considering how exact your cycle usually is.
If you haven’t gotten your period by now, visit a doctor for a blood test and consider your options with her or him once you have a definite answer.
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| Indirect Impregnation – Part 19 |
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Dear Dinah,
My partner may have gotten pre-cum on the outside of my vagina. He was trying to insert his penis but he couldn't. He tried for 5 mins. then we decided to stop. He never got it in and was never close to ejaculation. When I got home a couple hours later, I inserted my fingers into my vagina. If there were pre-ejaculate fluids outside my vagina, could I have accidentally put them inside my vagina? What are the chances of becoming pregnant from this kind of activity?
Dinah answers: There is always a small risk of pregnancy as well as STD’s when there is genital contact. If there was pre-cum, it wouldn’t need to be inside the vagina. If you are lubricated, the cervical mucus which makes up part of that wetness actually aids the sperm into the vagina and towards the uterus.
From your description of having trouble with penetration, it could be that you were dry, which is bad for sex but in this case it means there is even less chance of any potential sperm entering you. For next time, use a condom or method of birth control that suits you and then try increasing the lubrication either by getting your body ready in advance with natural lube, or by adding some of the shop-grown variety.
As for your finger, there is nothing you can do a couple of hours later that will put you in any danger because sperm cannot survive that long on the outside of your body.
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| Indirect Impregnation – part 18 |
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Dear Dinah,
A few weeks ago i was with my girlfriend. we were making out and i had precum in my boxers which had soaked through onto my sweat pants. without thinking i touched the spot with my finger. about 5-10 minutes later i fingered her with the same finger. my finger was never really wet just slightly damp and i had urinated before this all took place and im almost positive it was all dry. she had also just finished up her period. is their a high risk of pregnancy? very worried.
Dinah answers: Pre-cum is really just a few tiny drops that is expelled from the penis before orgasm, so if you had soaked through a layer or two of clothes, it sounds like it was proper cum. This makes it that much more dangerous, because unlike pre-cum, proper ejaculate is loaded with sperm. Clothes, though they help to dry out the ejaculate and thereby kill the sperm in a few minutes, do not act like a condom and strain them.
If your pants were wet, there is a theoretical chance that there were live sperm that could have been transferred to your girlfriend. 5-10 minutes is usually enough time for the ejaculate to dry up and for the sperm to loose all activity, but that very much depends on the conditions – how hot and cold it was and how aired out the pants were.
If she was immediately after her period and she has an average length period of about 28 days, you were probably safe (from unwanted pregnancy but not STDs) simply because she wouldn’t have been fertile yet. Again, this depends on how her cycle works so you need to look at the fertility cycle table and discuss this together.
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| Indirect Impregnation – part 17 |
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Dear Dinah,
I apologize beforehand because I am asking the same question people have asked over and over but with something like this people need reassurance anyways, the scenario, my bf was fingering me he pulled out his penis so that I could give him a hand job I think he did it with the opposite hand that he was using to finger me but I dont remember. I noticed that his penis was secreting fluid and later I wondered if he had somehow gotten that fluid on his hand then slid his hand under my pants to continue fingering me what are the odds that that fluid could have gotten on his hands survived the slide under my pants and gotten into my vagina to impregnate me. I know it wasn't semen, it was pre-cum and I'm almost positive he would have gone to the restroom before his last ejaculation. What are the odds I could be pregnant? Oh besides that I was so freaked out about there being even a slim chance of pregnancy that I got the morning after pill about 12 hrs later and it was about a week after my period and my periods are pretty regular? Thank you...I need some peace of mind
Dinah answers: I understand the need to reask the "same" question for your own peace of mind and that is why I answer every single time!
There is always a small chance that the semen from the pre-cum get into little creases in the hand or finger tip, where there are many places for such tiny objects as sperm to hide out.
The slide under your pants wouldn't necessarily be a challenge for them. Your stage in the cycle, though, is important. You can look it up on the fertility cycle table which cannot confirm anything but can serve as a guideline to how fertile you would have been.
But despite all the dangers of what happened, you acted ideally under the circumstances. You accessed the morning after pill and best of all you did it really quickly. These pills work better the closer you are to the exposure. Basically you have taken a situation of medium to low risk and acted logically and effectively.
I know you probably won't be fully relaxed until you get your next period but I believe you can feel secure with your actions. Your likelihood of success is extremely high.
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| Indirect Impregnation – part 16 |
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Dear Dinah,
Last night my girlfriend and I were messing around and we were masturbating each other. She gave me a handjob i came. the cum went on my finger and her finger. i immediatly took my shirt and wiped my hand and her hand dry. I checked thrice that it was dry. I inserted my finger in my girlfriend approx five minutes later. is the pregnancy chance high or low? our hands were dry for sure. my girlfriend had her period 2 weeks ago
Dinah answer: This is the kind messing around that gets risky for pregnancy and STDs. No matter how well you wipe (and shirts aren't the most absorbant of wipes), you simply can't be sure that a few (or a few thousand, for that matter) of the microscopic-sized sperm aren't lingering in the creases of your skin or under your nail. This is also a dangerous time from the point of view of fertility.
If its not too late check out options for emergency contraception. Otherwise, wait and take it from there. Please be more careful in future.
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| Indirect Impregnation – part 15 |
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Dear Dinah,
I was with my girlfriend today and at one point i touched a little bit of precum, but i wiped it off with a tissue and washed my hands, but without soap. i went throughout the rest of the day as normal, touching things with my hands and all, i even washed my hands again, but again without soap. then about 3 and a half/4 hours later, i fingered my girlfriend. there was no sign of any semen on my finger, and i figured that all the sperm would have been wiped off or dryed and died by now. are me and my girlfriend at risk for pregnancy? if so how much? we're both 15 and we dont have any access to EC, if we would need any. please help ease my mind, thanks!
Dinah answers: First of all I will ease your worries and say that you are not at risk. Sperm cannot stay alive and functional for hours, especially in the open and after some form of washing.
I commend you on being so responsible and suggest that for your own peace of mind, make it a habit of washing your hands well with soap between any touching from you to her. Also, wear a condom - even if you are just messing around and not having intercourse. You will only appreciate the positive experience and comfort level you gain for when you are ready to have sex.
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| Indirect Impregnation – part 14 |
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Dear Dinah,
I was wondering about the whole cum and fingering thing. About a week ago my girlfriend and I had an intense make out session.(sounds weird) and she gave me a hand job in my pants. And like five minutes later she kinna went in my pants and grabbed my penis just to see how bad i came. I wiped her hand dry. like with the bed sheets and all. then she kind of started to touch her self in that area... I was just wondering if she has a high chance of getting pregnant or not. And she got her period the very next day.
Dinah answers: What you did is actually quite risky. Instead of wiping her hand on a sheet or any other dry material, you need to wash it with soap and water to make sure you are safe before going from you to her. That’s something you need to stick to, and if you are unable, make sure you change hands.
Fortunately this all happened the day before her period so it is safe to assume that she was totally infertile at this time.
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| Indirect Impregnation – part 13 |
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Dear Dinah,
I got some of my boyfriend's pre-cum on my fingers and then i licked my fingers but i'm not sure which fingers. after a few minutes, i started rubbing my vagina. my fingers were not completely in, only the tips. how big is the chance of getting pregnant? i cannot rely on my period because it is irregular...Please help me.
Dinah answers: Dinah answers: If there was pre-cum on your fingers and you licked it, you might have picked up the taste. The saliva would also kill the sperm, but that is only if saliva covered the entire area that had pre-cum on it. Under these circumstances there is some chance that you could be at risk of pregnancy and STDs.
The safest thing to do is get hold of emergency contraception, which is effective up to 72 hours and sometimes even longer after the event.
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| Signs of Ovulation |
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Dear Dinah,
My girlfriend experiences a sharp stabbing pain in her pelvic area... she said it's in her uterus... but its 8 days after her period. Additionally, she said that it only happened once and last only for seconds, what could this conclude?
Dinah answers: What she is describing is possibly ovulation. Most women don’t feel a thing when they ovulate, but some women feel something between a slight tickle and a sharp pain on the day and hour of ovulation. If so, she should feel it more on the left on one month, and on the right on the next, and so on. The feeling is actually coming from the ovaries.
It may be a bit annoying to her now, but she is very fortunate to have this clear indication that she is healthy and right on schedule. This can also help her to know exactly when she is most fertile, which is the 4 or so days before and after ovulation.
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| Indirect Impregnation – part 12 |
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Dear Dinah,
I am still a virgin but my boyfriend and i were fooling around and for a few seconds i put my hand in his pants and touched the base of his penis, then he said he wanted to see me fingering myself so i put that same hand in my own pants and touched myself for only a few seconds. Later when we talked on the phone he said that he was so aroused that he started to "pre-cum" it got me thinking that maybe i had touched of his pre-cum and got it inside of me. Could i be pregnant? I told my boyfriend and he doesn't think so because he says i didn't touch the pre-cum but i'm really freaking out right now. Last month i got my period on the 13th and today is the 10th. My period usually varies between 3-5 days of when i’m supposed to get it. Is there a good chance i could really be pregnant?
Dinah answers: Let’s consider the details here, because you have described a situation in which it is theoretically possible to impregnate yourself, but highly unlikely.
Pre-cum does not shoot out like ejaculate sometimes does, but it drips out. So it really depends on the angle that his penis was at, if you want to know if any pre-cum had reached the base of his penis where your hand was, or rather where the finger or fingers were, that you then inserted.
As for your dates, I cannot know how safe you were without knowing what day of your cycle this occurred on. What you need to do is figure out within your usual pattern, which days are possible options for beginning your period and work from there (you can use the fertility cycle table).
All I can offer in terms of comfort is advice for next time. Between the two of you – you have four hands, so let them share out the play. Never use the same hand to go directly from him to you, unless you’re using a condom.
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| Mutual Masturbation Safety |
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Dear Dinah,
My girlfriend and I fooled around the day before her period (She got her period the next day) she mutuality masturbated me and I came... She eventually washed her hands with tap water and urinated after, she even wipe off her genitals with toilet paper after that... could she be pregnant??
Dinah answers: I’m not sure what you mean by her mutually masturbating you. Mutual masturbation means that she is masturbating you (giving a hand job) and you are doing the same for her. It could be either at the same time or one by one.
You cannot get pregnant from mutual masturbation alone, in fact it is a safe way to have sex. The only reason that a couple would have to worry is if he ejaculates on her hand or some other part of his or her body that then comes in contact with her vaginal area.
If, for example, she masturbates with one hand and gives you a hand job with the other, she is not in any danger, as long as she doesn’t use the same hand to touch both of you, without washing.
Regarding the messing around the day before her period, this is the very safest time there is from a pregnancy point of view. The middle days between her periods are most fertile and the week or so leading up to her period is generally not fertile.
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| Indirect Impregnation – part 11 |
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Dear Dinah,
I gave my boyfriend a hand job and some pre-cum got on my hand. Right afterwards i we went outside for a minute and i drove home. I takes me about 20 minutes to get home. When i got home i scratched/touched my vagina. But i didnt touch anywhere near an opening or anything it was basically right on the top. Can i be pregnant?
Dinah answers: I would say that you are safe this time. If indeed it was pre-cum (and not a full ejaculation), there is so little fluid and it would certainly have dried and killed all the sperm in 20 minutes.
In any case, you should get into the habit of washing your hands with soap after touching him and before putting your hands near your own crotch, until you are sure that you are free of STDs and you have a trustworthy contraceptive.
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| Fertility During My Period |
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Dear Dinah,
Me and my boyfriend had unprotected sex on the first and second days of my period. He released sperm inside of me everytime what are the chances that i may become pregnant?
Dinah answers: Being fertile during your period depends on how long your cycle is. If you have an extremely short cycle – of less than 21 days – it is possible to fall pregnant during your first 2 days of your period. If your period is more or less regular and it comes at intervals of more than three weeks, you are safe during these days.
To clarify this, see the fertility cycle table
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| Indirect Impregnation - part 10 |
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Dear Dinah,
I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob and he was fingering me at the same time. He stopped for awhile and I think he quickly scratched his pubic hair/lower testicle region right beside the base of his penis then continued fingering me a couple minutes later. (He stopped fingering me a couple minutes before he came.) By the way, he has eczema so scratches dry skin once in a while.
I was wondering if there could potentially be any pre-cum there near the base of his penis and if so, would my saliva have killed off the sperm or could it have dried up if there was potentially any? I wasn't really focusing on what he was doing so I'm not certain if he did scratch (I just remember seeing his hand around there a couple minutes before he started fingering me again). But, in the event that he did, would I be at risk of pregnancy? It was about 2(ish) days before my supposed ovulation time, so I'm a little nervous (I'm not on any birth control).
I don't have any pregnancy symptoms whatsoever yet and I was under a lot of stress for about 3 days following the incident (due to a school exam), and I've heard that stress can sometimes delay ovulation for a couple of days.
Should I be worried about pregnancy or am I over-analyzing the situation?
Dinah answers: You seem very well informed about all the facts. There is a chance that there’d be pre-cum and there is a small chance that he’d transfer it directly to your vagina. Stress can delay ovulation, but you definitely can’t count on it.
I’m afraid that there is no way to predict what your chances are. I also can’t expect that you could stop analyzing what happened, because it is threatening. You’ll have to wait it out until you can run a pregnancy test, or until your period arrives.
Meanwhile consider training your boyfriend to keep separate activities to separate hands. Also, together you should consider finding a good method of contraception.
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| Indirect Impregnation - part 9 |
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Dear Dinah,
If my boyfriend masturbated and then wiped his hands on his pants and boxers and then stuck his fingers in a little bit once or twice what are my chances of getting pregnant?
Dinah answers: Because sperm are so tiny and there are so many millions of them, just the tiniest drop near the fingernail or in a skin crease could be filled with them, alive and kicking for a few minutes. It could be conveyed into you when he touches you directly; the insertion makes it that much easier.
Your chances of becoming pregnant depend on how fertile you are on this day, how fertile he is and a lot of luck. These are all factors that are almost unknowns at this point, so all you can do now is wait for your period and if it is late, take a home pregnancy test.
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| Condom Incompetence |
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Dear Dinah,
My boyfriend and i had sex and we used a condom, prior to that he put it in without the condom for a few strokes, then put the condom on. we had sex and he came quite a lot, he put it back in and we continued for a few mins, afterwards i assumed he had taken off the condom and dissposed of it. i went home to bed. when i got up in the morning the condom was still inside me and it was empty. the problem is, i had the implant removed on the 9th of Nov and my period was about to start on the 15th Nov, it was really light so i thought i could get away with it, the next day i bled maybe a teaspoon of blood and i haven’t seen it since...what is the likelihood of me falling pregnant? i’ve had most symptoms of pregnancy but all tests are negative...help. i know it was stupid...to make matters worse it happened again the following week so we decided to stop having sex for a little while. help please.
Dinah answers: At this point there is not much I can do to help, while you wait to retest, except to say this: You know where you’ve made mistakes and bad decisions. You know how to go about finding good contraception and I’m sure that just as you have been organized and responsible in the past, this episode will make sure that you’re more careful in the future.
Your strange bleeding and other symptoms could be due to conception or they could be due to removing the implant, which could mix up your delicate hormone balance temporarily.
But as you know, your risk of being pregnant is real and high. Even a few thrusts before he ejaculated and especially after he ejaculated, make the entire act an unsafe one. Leaving the condom in overnight is something of a contraceptive disaster, but not much more problematic than repeating it a week later.
I think you are wise to stop having sex – at least until you trust that the contraceptive method is under your control. I’d suggest you both read up more on correct condom use. Don’t think that just because he wears it, you don’t need to know how to put it on and take it off, and under the circumstances, also to use a finger to feel that it is out once you’re finished.
You need to retake a pregnancy test, when enough time has passed. If you feel insecure or nervous about home pregnancy tests you can do a urine or blood test through your doctor or local clinic, and this would give you a final answer.
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| Indirect Impregnation - part 8 |
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Dear Dinah,
A week ago I was at my girls place. I had washed my penis thrice before. I was masturbating and there was still some pre-cum on my fingers. I was foolin around, then for a second I happened to touch my finger to her clitoris then she recoiled. After that there was no other contact of the genital areas. After the act she consumed the emergency pill within 48 hours. Tell me, is there a good chance of pregnancy. It was the 4th day after her period.
Dinah answers: I rarely suggest that couples have the all clear, because there is always a theoretical possibility of pregnacy when there has been some unprotected sperm-genital contact, but in this case, I feel safe saying your chances are indeed negligible.
If her cycle this month is 28 days or longer, she would not have been at risk. Secondly, the exposure was minimal. Finally, because you avoided any further gential contact at this time and took the emergency pill in good time, you have done everything you could to protect yourselves. Well done!
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| Safety of Emergency Contraception |
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Dear Dinah,
My boyfiend and I had unprotected sex on my 20th day of my cycle. We used the withdrawal method. I took combined ECPs [emergency contraceptive pills] the following day. What are the chances of getting pregnant?
Dinah answers: First of all, well done for acting quickly after the unprotected sex. ECP's are effective and they are most effective if taken soon after the event, which you have done.
Generally speaking, by day 20 (considering you have a 28-day cycle) you wouldn't still be fertile, but you were right to take emergency contraception, because you never know if your ovulation might have been delayed for one of the many reasons that it occurs, and therefore you might have been fertile.
There is no way to know your exact chances, but you have done everything you can to reduce your chances to very unlikely.
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| Fertile Days and Nights |
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Dear Dinah,
I know you can get pregnant at anytime. Is it highly possible to get pregant a week before you even start ovulating?
Dinah answers: Actually, you can't get pregnant anytime, if you really have your cycle down. The problem is that most of us don't have a really accureate idea of exactly when we are ovulating. For this you need to closely follow your temperature and cervical mucus (or have a doctor check your hormone levels or do an ultrasound). Its not as simple as just following your bleeding pattern.
You can get pregnant from sex that you have a few days before ovulation because the sperm can get caught up in the cervical mucus and stay alive for up to five days, under the right conditions.
So if the conditions are optimal and you have misjudged your ovulation by a couple of days, it could theoretically happen.
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| Semen Dripping In |
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Dear Dinah,
I recently had sex with my boyfriend, this past saturday. As we were having unprotected sex and he pulled out but manged to cum onto my butt. It kind of dripped down and got close to my butthole but I'm not sure if it got to the opening of my vagina or if the wetness i had felt was just from me. I know sperm can swim, but since I wiped myself really well after that, do you think its still highly possible that I could get pregnant? Its to late to take the plan b pill, I was going to today but plan parenthood is closed. I know I should always worrry about this but should I really be loosing this much sleep over it?
Dinah answers: The chances that the sperm will make it into your vagina and up past the cervix depends on the amount of lubrication you produced and the "fitness" of the sperm. It is impossible for me to say what your chances are, but the risk does exist.
Your lubrication actually helps the sperm swim inwards, and although wiping it after the fact can reduce the number of sperm by a few million, there could have been a few thousand or more of the faster ones who managed to make it up. Having said that, the chances will not be nearly as high as if he had cum inside your vagina.
As you realised, this way of having sex is unsafe, and there is not much you can do except wait for your period, since you have missed your opportunity for the plan b pill (which gives you 72-hours after the sexual act). So that this doesn't happen again, you should try to locate a pharmacy where emergency contraception is available at all times, or better yet, organize a more dependable method of contraception.
A home pregnancy test could give you some measure of comfort closer to the time of your period.
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| He Says I Have Nothing to Worry About |
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Dear Dinah,
My boyfriend and I had unprotected sex, he pulled out before he came and then about 25 minutes later he went back in me and pulled back out before he came, is there any chance of pregnancy? (last period was on October 6th) and I'm not sure about the whole most fertile thing, I'm worried . He says I have nothing to worry about since he knows his sperm count.
DInah answers: OK, so you have a boyfriend who doesn't like to use condoms, because he thinks he can pull on before ejacualting. Beside, he says that he has a low sperm count so you have nothing to worry about.
I'd say you have two things to worry about. The first is pregnancy and STDs. You are having unsafe sex and even if he really does have a low sperm count, what you are doing is taking a big chance.
The second thing I'd worry about if I were you, is taking any other advice from your boyfriend. I don't want to suggest that he is manipulative; I'll give him the benefit of the doubt that he is sorely misinformed.
If you don't get your period when you expect to, try taking a home pregnancy test.
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| Indirect Impregnation - Part 7 |
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Dear Dinah,
I want to know what is the real chance of getting pregnant in this situation: I gave my boyfriend oral love, he came and I swallowed the sperm. About 15-20 min later I licked my finger and started to masturbate with it, but only touching my clitoris. Do you think there is probability to get pregnant in this way?
Dinah answers: I cannot give you an absolute answer about being safe, but I would say that the chances of your being pregnant are very, very minimal. Theoretically, sperm cannot survive in saliva for that long, especially if you swallowed most of the semen, leaving only tiny drops in your mouth.
If there was semen left in your mouth, you could transfer it using your finger to masturbate, so you should be careful about doing this in future without washing first, or better yet, using a condom.
I would suggest if you ever have doubts of this kind, you should take emergency contraception within 72 hours, if it is accessible in your country.
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| Indirect Impregnation – Part 6 |
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Dear Dinah,
I have 2 questions. The other day my girlfriend and I were fooling around and I fingered her. Before I fingered her, there was a bit of pre-cum on my hands. I quickly rubbed it against my jeans till it was dry. I then waited 5 minutes before I actually fingered her. What are the chances of getting pregnant?
Also if pre-cum were in her mouth then we kissed for liked 10 minutes and then I went down on her, can she get pregnant? It would be a lot of help if you could answer these questions.
Dinah answers: I’m afraid I can’t give you anything different from the answer I’ve given so many others who have asked variations of this same question: pre-cum has a relatively small load of sperm and if the sperm is dry this should kill them. In addition, sperm left over in the mouth should be killed by the saliva after a number of minutes; so the chances are high that your girlfriend would not get pregnant from either of these circumstances.
HOWEVER you cannot know for sure that your hands were completely dry, that there wasn’t the tiniest drop of semen left under a fingernail or in a skin wrinkle, or that you didn’t transfer a drop from her lips to her vulva.
The chances are small but under certain conditions they can lead to pregnancy. To make sure you are being safe and to avoid anxiety as you wait for her period, be careful to rinse and wash carefully between any acts that occur without a barrier (condom or dam) for protection.
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| Dangerous Wiping |
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Dear Dinah,
My boyfriend and I often have unprotected sex. Yes, I know it’s not very smart. The other day when we were having sex he pulled out before he ejaculated and he got it onto my thigh. After he went to the bathroom to clean up he came back with a couple kleenex' so I could wipe the cum off. So, I did and after I did so I wiped my self up not directly in my vagina but just to clean up, with the same kleenex. Now everyone I've asked said "there isn't that much of a chance" but I’m loosing sleep over this. I'm so worried. Please help me out.
Dinah answers: It sounds like the only way you’ll get sleep is a definite answer that you couldn’t get pregnant, and I am sorry but I can’t provide that. Your friends are correct, there is not a very high risk, but it’s impossible to know for sure.
In general, semen has to stay wet for the sperm to be kept alive and the Kleenex should absorb the liquid, thereby drying it out. But if the Kleenex was still wet with semen when you wiped yourself off, it is possible that you could bring sperm in contact with your vaginal lubrication, which would help live sperm to swim in.
But apart from wiping yourself in this way, your boyfriend ejaculating outside is not safe. You may have been lucky until now, but your chances may run out some time.
All this is hypothetical and we can never guess your chances without knowing your cycle and more about your and his fertility. Of course I understand how worrying this is, but try to feel calmer by doing the only practical thing you can: if more than 3 days has passed, wait for a few more days and take a home pregnancy test. Just be careful not to do it too soon and make sure its under the right circumstances (according to the instructions). If you should find yourself in a similar situation in future (which I have a feeling you won’t), you should try to get hold of emergency contraception, which is effective up to 3 days after the risky sex.
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| Unprotected Sex |
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Dear Dinah,
I recently had unprotected sex with my girlfriend. I had showered before we had sex and I did not ejaculate inside of her. Instead after we finished intercourse she masturbated me until I ejaculated. I’m really worried that there’s a chance she may get pregnant.
Dinah answers: There is a small chance of pregnancy when you have unprotected sex, even if you ejaculate outside of her, because the pre-cum that your body produces to clean out the passage before ejaculation contains sperm and possible germs, in small quantities. This is the reason why the withdrawal method is not considered a good form of birth control.
You can collect more information on your risk by checking how close it was to her ovulation (which occurs 14 days before her next period, plus minus a few days in each direction).
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| Condom Safety |
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Dear Dinah,
Recently during sex with my girlfriend I came before her and continued until she did. I was using a condom, and continued for about 30 more seconds. What are the chances of ejaculate escaping the ring at the bottom of the condom, and if it did so, what are the chances of my girlfriend conceiving?
Dinah answers: Latex condoms are considered to be about 95% because they tear, slip or get warn thin by inappropriate handing or wrong lubricants. But spillage from the top is not considered a common risk.
If the condom should slip down during sex, because it is too large or slippery on the inside, there is some danger of spillage. If you stay inside her after ejaculating and you lose your erection, there is a chance of spillage, so you should withdraw before this happens. However if the condom stays in place and is removed when you are still hard, you don’t have to worry about spillage.
Regarding the chances of her conceiving if sperm get across the condom, this depends on where she is in her cycle and on the motility (strength of movement) of your sperm. If you feel worried, it is better to use an additional method of contraception (such as pills or another form of hormonal contraception, diaphragm or spermicide) rather than having sex under pressure.
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| Indirect Impregnation – Part 5 |
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Dear Dinah,
So, my girlfriend gave me a blowjob, right? But I came in my pants, so there was no danger at all. So a few minutes later I put my right hand down there very LIGHTLY to feel how much damage I did and I again, LIGHTLY grazed my semi damp boxers and semi-damp skin, but within a minute or two my fingers were completely dry, (they were never what you would consider wet to begin with anyway) and we stopped contact for I'd say a good half hour where then I fingered her with my right hand which was dry and had been touching other stuff and all. I'll also say that I did not go very deep and I mostly rubbed her clitoris. So, I HIGHLY doubt I got her pregnant...am I right??
Dinah answers: You ARE right in thinking that you will not get your girlfriend pregnant under these conditions. The ejaculate that you touched can keep the sperm alive as long as it is wet. Once it dries up, and of that you seem quite certain, the sperm cannot be sustained.
By the way, if the sperm are alive and kicking, they know how to swim from anywhere on the vulva; they don’t need to be deposited deep inside.
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| Pills and Periods |
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Dear Dinah,
Well, I have a few questions and they are all related. This might be a little bit confused, but I am very confused myself and I don't know who to ask.
So, I have hypothyroidism, which is controlled by my Levotiroxin pill. Hypothyroidism causes my period to be delayed but since December, I've been regular. My last period was May 22. After that, on about June 1, I started taking birth control for six days, and on June 6 to June 11 I was bleeding. On June 12, I had sex with my boyfriend, he didn’t ejaculated on me, but he had some sperm on his finger and masturbated me. By July 19, I still hadn’t got my period so I took a home pregnancy test but it’s negative. Can I still be pregnant? Also, two days ago we had sex and he came inside, is there any chance I'll get pregnant? It's been a while since my last menstrual period and I thought this is not possible. Help! I am very confused.
Dinah answers: Hypothyroidism meds will probably cause a reshuffle of your period while they help correct fertility problems. If your period is now regular, you can predict more or less when your most fertile days are (about 3-5 days around the point that is two weeks before your next period). I cannot estimate from the dates you have given when you would be fertile, because you have not said how often you get your period (a lot of women are regular but not every 28 days).
If you took birth control pills for only six days, you will not be properly covered because you need to take them for at least 7 days before you are safe. It is also not clear why you started taking them mid-month. Pills need to be started during the first week after getting your period. Since your boyfriend masturbated you with ejaculate on his finger you are at risk, so it is good that you tested.
The problem is that you are more than two weeks late, the test was negative but your period still hasn’t arrived. There are a few options here.
One possibility is that you started and stopped the pill mid-cycle, you may have confused your body and that is why your period has not appeared.
Another option is that the test showed a negative result because of a technical hitch, in which case you should probably do another test if you don’t get your period in the next day or two.
A third option is that stress is messing with your period, and it will reappear soon. Again doing a home pregnancy test or getting a doctor’s all clear can save you extra stress time.
Of course you could have recomplicated issues by having unsafe sex just a few days ago.
Unless you get your period before then, you should set up an appointment with your gynecologist and endocrinologist to figure out the pregnancy situation and work out a proper schedule for pills and hypothyroidism meds.
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| Indirect Impregnation - Part 4 |
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Dear Dinah,
How long does sperm stay alive in your mouth and if he comes in your mouth and then continues intercourse, can you still get pregnant?
Dinah answers: Does it really matter how long the swimmers can stay swimming in your mouth? After all, you won't be getting pregnant from a mouthful. Of course if he cums when he's inside your mouth, his penis is bound to have a few million odd sperm hanging on, because - you may have noticed - the stuff spreads out pretty easily.
If you continue with penetration immediately after oral sex you are at risk for pregnancy and STDs. We can't be sure how long the sperm will stay alive if they are outside of the vagina, because it depends on his sperm and on the outside conditions. The only way to be safe in future is to wash him and yourself off with soap in between acts and, preferably, to use a condom.
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| Pregnancy Following Masturbation |
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Dear Dinah,
I had masturbated and after 30 minutes, without cleaning, I put my penis in my girlfriend's vagina for 2 to 3 strokes. I did not ejaculate but came out. My question is, can my girl get pregnant because I put my penis in without cleaning it after masturbation ?
Dinah answers: We don’t know for sure how long sperm can survive once exposed to open air. Some experts think that they can last between half and hour and a few hours, but it really depends on the conditions and on the strength of your sperm. If the temperature is warm, the fluid of the semen will dry quicker and the sperm will die sooner. On the other hand, if you are uncircumcised, semen may be caught in the skin folds of the foreskin may be given some protection.
So although I wouldn’t say this is an effective way to get pregnant, the chances of it happening this way are small but real.
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| Is Pulling Out Safe? |
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Dear Dinah,
Is it possible to get pregnant if my partner "pulled out" and ejaculated on the outside of my vagina?
Dinah answers: Yes it is possible. Pulling out before ejaculation is an ancient and notorious method of birth control known as “coitus interuptus”. Before a man ejaculates he produces a small amount of fluid that we refer to as “pre-cum”. This fluid is meant to clear out his urethra and it contains small amounts of sperm.
This is the reason why pulling out isn’t considered safe, neither for contraception nor as protection from STDs.
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| Indirect Impregnation - Part 3 |
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Dear Dinah,
My boyfriend ejaculated in my mouth and I immediately spat it out. We kissed right after that. He went down on me about 23 hours from this point. Is there any chance that I am pregnant?
Dinah answers: By spitting out the ejaculate you will get rid of most of the millions of sperm, but unless you had rinsed out really well, some of them would be likely to get into his mouth. However, the sperm could not stay alive in his mouth for more than a few minutes because his saliva creates an inhospitable environment.
You can be assured that so many hours later, there would be no live sperm being introduced and hopefully all that was going on down there was pleasure.
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| Morning-After Pill Taken Early |
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Dear Dinah,
I went down on my boyfriend and when he came I think I cleaned well. Hours after that we had sex without using any protection. A few hours before I took the morning after pill and I am about to take the other one in 12 hours. Is there any chance of me getting pregnant?
Dinah answers: The “morning after” pill, or emergency contraception, needs to be taken in its full dosage (whether in your country it is 1 or 2 pills) after the unprotected sex. Since you describe taking it close to the time of the exposure, it could be as effective as if it was taken immediately after the sex.
Just in case it isn’t clear, you cannot get pregnant from going down on him, unless the ejaculate spills near your vagina or is transferred there by hand while still wet and fresh. Cleaning up properly with soap will kill all sperm, but may not get all possible STD’s.
Keeping healthy is an art rather than a science, so it is highly unlikely that you are pregnant but I wouldn’t dare say it is impossible. You’ve done what you can for now. You should do a home pregnancy test about two weeks after the event, and take it from there.
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| Pregnancy by Hand? |
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Dear Dinah,
Can I get pregnant if I have dry cum on my hands and I touch my vagina? By the way I finished my period 3 days ago.
Dinah answers: There is no chance that sperm can stay alive if the cum has dried, but that is if you are absolutely sure that it has dried. Without the fluid or the ejaculate or the vagina, sperm die off very easily.
If you are uncertain about the possibility of getting pregnant, it is wise to consider how fertile you are. The problem, though, is that it is difficult to be accurate. Three days after your period, you are most likely safe, but I can't tell you that for sure without knowing how long your period is and how long your cycle is. An average cycle of 28 days would mean you are indeed safe, but a shorter cycle could mean danger.
In cases like these, it is always good to know that you can get emergency contraception (it is good for at least 3 days after the act) and to be safer next time.
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| Dehydrating Sperm |
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Dear Dinah,
How long can sperm stay in a condom before it drys? Can sperm dry inside the condom?
Dinah answers: First of all it would depend on how much ejaculate is produced. Guys produce between a teaspoon and a tablespoon of cum. There are variations between men and even from occasion to occasion.
The liquid will dry inside the condom in a matter of minutes or hours (depending on the temperature), especially if it is left open instead of tying it after use, which is recommended.
The sperm will probably be ineffective if left out at room temperature for a few minutes, meaning they won't be able to swim up the tubes. You can’t be sure that the same will be true for any possible germs in the ejaculate.
Read more about sperm contents.
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| Indirect Impregnation – Part 2 |
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Dear Dinah,
I want to know, if my boyfriend comes in my mouth and I spit it out a few seconds later, are there any sperm alive in my mouth or will they die easily because of the saliva? Moreover, what if we then kiss and he goes down on me. Is there a chance of getting pregnant?
Dinah answers: Although this is not very likely, it is theoretically possible to transfer sperm in this way. Remember that a mouthful of sperm can contain around 40-50 million sperm, which means that even a drop the size of a pin-prick can contain a good sized swimming team. Whether they make it so the other side of the pool, all depends on the conditions in which they are kept.
On the one hand the dampness of the mouth can keep sperm alive, but on the other hand, saliva weakens them. It doesn’t really matter how long you kept the ejaculate in your mouth before spitting it out, what matters is how much time passed between him cumming, and him kissing you. The longer any remaining sperm stay in contact with your saliva, the less the chance of them being alive and kicking when he transfers them.
The chances of pregnancy are small, but there is also a chance of contracting sexually transmitted diseases in this way. The best thing, for your own peace of mind, would be to do a pregnancy test, just to be sure. Start with a simple home test and take it from there.
If you’re worried the next time you’re in this situation, you can take a break and use in mouth wash between acts.
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| Finger Dipping |
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Dear Dinah,
I wanted to find out if there is risk of pregnacy when after I have sex using a condom, I remove the condom with my fingers, then later 3 minutes or so, start to touch her vagina with the same fingers.....?
Dinah answers: Sperm are only found in the ejaculate, so if your fingers touch any of part of the condom where the ejaculate landed, you could certainly transfer it. You would need to wash your hands well before touching her, to make sure you haven’t just given the sperm a hitchhike straight to the vagina.
If you are careful, it is quite easy to avoid having to stop and clean up in between. You should remove the condom from the base of the penis, while you are still relatively hard, to avoid spreading the ejaculate all over the condom or yourself. Simply knot the top of the condom, touching only the outside and your fingers need not go anywhere near the wet, sticky and sperm-filled stuff.
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| Indirect Impregnation |
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Dear Dinah,
Here is the scenario: A female gives me oral sex and I ejaculate into her mouth. I go home and have intercourse with another female several hours later. The next day, I find out that the first female had given oral sex to at least a couple of other guys and they may have gone in her mouth as well.
IF that is the case, can I transfer their sperm to the female I had intercourse with several hours later and can that women then get pregnant?
Thank you for your response. I can not find any literature on this scenario.
Dinah answers: Some wouldn’t take your question seriously, but I will! I think that it introduces a few very interesting theoretical possibilities.
Firstly, I’d have to prefix my answer by saying that pregnancy is the least of your problems. Ever heard of STD’s?
Having said that, we know that after ejaculation, healthy sperm should survive in a woman’s body up to 48 hours, and in some cases up to a few days. The question then remains, under what conditions might this sperm be kept that could keep it alive and strong enough to head for the tubes? Your scenario asks whether the sperm could survive in saliva for a day, not to mention eating, drinking and probably brushing, before being placed on the outside of your penis, which I assume you may want to wash between the two episodes, and then be transferred to your second lover and swim on up through her cervix.
When it comes to medical possibilities, they say that you should never say never. We know from some studies done that saliva generally kills or weakens sperm. A man with low-sperm count or low motility needs perfect conditions and this would be enough to terminate their ride. But if the man has very motile sperm, of the 500 million ejaculated, we can expect some sperm could escape the saliva onslaught.
The question remains how long sperm could stay effective outside of the vagina? The vagina has thick cervical mucus which is the perfect host for sperm, keeping them going and directing their way to the fallopian tubes where they can meet an egg. If there is some mucus or protective substance hanging around in or on the transfer device (in this case the penis) then it may be theoretically possible to keep it alive.
Now let’s get real! Sperm could not in reality survive going from a saliva filled mouth (where most of the semen would be swallowed or spat out), onto an exterior surface, where it would dry up and possibly be washed off, and survive to be transferred to another woman. A much simpler question would be why you would not be concerned that having unprotected sex with the second woman would not impregnate or infect her directly?
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| Your Daddy is not a Toilet Seat |
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Dear Dinah,
Can you get pregnant from a toilet seat?
Dinah answers: The official answer is that you can get pregnant ON a toilet seat, but there are definitely more comfortable places to try. As for getting pregnant when you are alone in the cubical, let's consider the facts about sperm donations left on the porcelin.
Sperm can be left over if a male ejaculates on the seat, and a few loose sperm will usually swim around in male urine, which is something that surprisingly often finds its way onto toilet seats. These sperm have a long life span when they are deposited inside a woman's vagina (as long as 5 days), but when they are out in the fresh air, they will only live as long as they remain wet. In a warm environment this is only a few minutes.
Theoretically, ejaculate can be transferred from a seat into your body, but it is practically unfeasable. Pay attention to the parts that touch the seat – it tends to differ according to your body shape, but it is not the vaginal entrance. Having said that, anyone who has ever sat on a well-disguised wet spot, can attest to the creepy feeling that leaves you wiping the spot long after it is dry.
Even though in the medical world it`s hard to get an answer that promises 100% safety for anything, you can sit assured that whatever you come in contact with in a public toilet can give you a handful of things, but pregnancy is not one of them. And when in doubt, give the quadriceps a work out (by squatting).
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